The Survival Imperative
by Stephen-Hawking
Summary: Amy is feeling depressed, about the lack of progress in her relationship with Sheldon, until a terrifying event turns her whole world upside down. Will it ultimately tear them apart, or bring them closer together?
1. Chapter 1

As always, A huge thank you to my Beta, Hazelra7.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 1.**

Standing outside apartment 4A, Sheldon asked, "Are you coming in for a cup of tea?"

Amy thought for a moment, before replying "I don't think I'll bother thanks. It's late and I have work in the morning".

Glancing around to ensure they were alone, Sheldon bent down and gave Amy their regulation date night kiss, then said "Well, thanks for a lovely evening Amy. I'll see you tomorrow. Yes?"

Turning to leave, Amy glanced back and, with a half-hearted smile, replied, "Yes, see you tomorrow".

As she descended the stairs, her mouth drooped into a frown. They'd been officially a couple for nearly 4 years, yet had never spent a single night in the same bed, let alone had sex.

Nor was it ever likely to happen, so long as they both pussy footed around one another.

"_Tomorrow, I'll ask him to spend the weekend at my place_" she pledged to herself, but, even as she thought it, she knew she was lying, as she'd lied to herself a dozen times before. She'd no more ask him, than he would ask her.

Leaving the front door of 2311 North Los Robles Avenue, she turned and walked slowly along the sidewalk, until she reached the parking lot, where her car was.

Climbing in, she fired up the engine, and drove toward Glendale and home.

As she drove, she thought back on the evening. It had, as always, been pleasant, but it lacked the excitement of a 'real date', like the ones Penny and Leonard, Bernadette and Howard, and nowadays, even Emily and Raj went on.

The missing ingredient, she knew, was intimacy, or more precisely, sex.

She thought of her friends, snuggling up in pairs, holding each other, kissing each other, touching and caressing each other, and yes, making love to each other.

Aside from the kissing, the rest of it was a mystery to her, and even the kissing wasn't 'real' kissing.

True, she and Sheldon had been getting a little closer of late. Sheldon was getting more comfortable with touching her. Handholding was no longer an ordeal for him, and even kissing was becoming easier, at least for Sheldon.

For Amy, it was causing her to be all the more frustrated, because, although she wouldn't dare admit it to Sheldon, kissing him was stirring stronger and stronger feelings in her.

In fact, as of late, kissing Sheldon was arousing her so much, she was using Gerard after pretty much every date, and even that wasn't really satisfying her.

She knew she needed something more realistic but, never in her life, had she ever bought anything from the 'dirty store'.

She was sure Penny would know how to go about obtaining what she wanted (she couldn't even bring herself to name it in her own mind. How sad was that?), and would even go and buy it for her, but Penny was notoriously bad at keeping secrets, meaning the whole group would probably know within days.

Amy blushed at the mere thought of the guys knowing she owned such a device.

She could ask Bernadette, but Howard would probably find out, and she could do without his sleazy remarks.

That left Emily. Amy figured that, as a doctor, Emily would be pretty blasé about such things, but she didn't know Emily that well, and would feel uncomfortable broaching the subject with her.

Pulling into the parking lot, she got out, locked the car, and made her way into her own apartment block.

Arriving on the 3rd floor, she took out her keys and opened the door to her apartment, reaching in to turn on the light.

Before she could operate the light switch, a hand grabbed her wrist, yanking her into the darkened room, slamming the door behind her.

As she tried to regain her balance, a hand was placed across her mouth from behind, and she felt a knife against her throat.

A male voice snarled in her ear, "**Move and I'll kill you bitch!**"

Fighting to swallow down the fear in her throat, Amy tried to think logically. Whatever happened, she knew she wanted to live through this, but the fear of what this intruder might do to her, made her mind race.

Silently she prayed "_please God, don't let him hurt me_".

The intruder spun her round, and she was face to face with him, but all she could see was two eyes, the rest of the face covered by a ski mask. "_Oh my God_" she thought, "_he's a rapist_".

Taking his hand from her mouth, he snarled "**One word and you're dead!**", then, grabbing her shoulder bag, he tried to rip it off her, but it was round her neck, and she was being dragged with it.

Quietly, she begged, "please, let me take it off and you can have it".

The thrashing subsided and Amy unhooked the bag, offering it to him.

Flicking on the room light, he took the bag and upturned it, shaking the contents onto the floor.

Spotting a wallet, he brandished the knife in warning, before sweeping the wallet off the floor and rifling through it.

"**Twenty five dollars?**" he spat. "**Where the fuck is the rest?**"

"There is no more" she pleaded. "I have Credit Cards".

Grabbing the front of her cardigan, he pushed her backward onto the kitchen counter, snarling "**Credit Cards are no fucking use to me. I want money, and I want it now, or you're dead!**".

Moving his hand to her throat, he began strangling her. Feeling she was about to pass out, she began silently praying, "_please, I don't want to die_".

Letting go of her throat, he dragged her upright by her cardigan, snarling "**money, NOW**".

Her arms flailing behind her, she grabbed the first thing that came to hand. It was slim and made of wood.

Snatching it up from the counter top, she swung it round and plunged it into the neck of the man in front of her.

With a choked gasp, he staggered back and fell to the floor, blood gushing from a wound just below his jaw bone, where the steak knife had entered.

In a blind panic, Amy grabbed the phone and dialed 911. As the call connected, the operator asked "What is the nature of your emergency?"

"Please" she begged, "send police and an ambulance. I think I've just killed someone".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Sheldon lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Something about Amy's manner, this evening, worried him.

She'd seemed a little moody, perhaps even sad. The half-hearted smile, as she'd said goodnight and set off down the stairs, made him feel uncomfortable.

Throwing back the covers, he got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen.

Taking down his cup from the shelf, he put a teabag into it, before putting the kettle on to boil.

He sat there, waiting for the water to boil, turning over the events of that evening in his mind. The meal had been nice, they'd chatted about work, their friends, and told the odd joke. It had all be very pleasant.

Sheldon thought about the word 'pleasant'. "_A rather nondescript word_" he thought. Was Amy, he wondered, getting bored with him.

"You OK buddy?" Turning in his seat, Sheldon replied "I'm not really sure Leonard". Pausing, he continued, "Do you think I'm boring?"

Leonard replied, "Why, has someone said you are?"

Sheldon thought to himself for a moment, then replied, "No. It's just Amy seemed a bit distant, perhaps even a little sad this evening. I was wondering if maybe she was getting bored with me?"

"Well", Leonard paused, searching for a diplomatic way to put it, before continuing, "you have been together for nearly four years, and your relationship isn't exactly zooming along, is it?"

Rolling his eyes, Sheldon replied "It's sex again, isn't it? You really do have a one-track mind".

Leonard replied, "Look Sheldon, Amy is a woman, and she has needs. You can't expect her to live her life like a nun. If you can't satisfy her needs, then maybe you should let her find someone who can".

Sheldon felt his stomach turn a somersault. The thought of Amy with another man made his guts twist, and his blood run cold.

Pushing his hand through his hair, Sheldon took a deep breath and replied "You're right Leonard, but as I don't want Amy to find another man, I'm going to satisfy her needs".

Hardly able to believe what he'd just heard, Leonard took a seat by the counter.

Taking a deep breath, he asked "Did I hear you right? You're going to satisfy Amy's needs?"

Trying not to hyperventilate, over the momentous decision he had just made, Sheldon replied "Yes Leonard, I'm going to, as they say 'step up' and have coitus with Amy".

Just then, the phone rang. Picking it up, Sheldon answered "Cooper Hofstadter residence. Go for Cooper".

Listening for several seconds, Sheldon asked "Oh my God, is she alright?"

Several more seconds passed, as Sheldon listened to the reply, then he said "We'll be right there".

Turning to Leonard, Sheldon said "Get dressed. We need to go to the police station right away".

Leonard asked "Why, what's happened?"

With a look of shock and disbelief on his face, Sheldon replied "Amy is there. **She's just killed a man!**"


	2. Chapter 2

I big thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I've loved hearing what you think.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 2.**

As he drove toward the policed station, Leonard asked "What exactly happened?"

Sheldon gathered his thoughts. "I'm not really sure. All they said was, Amy had disturbed an intruder and she stabbed him".

Leonard was about to say good for her, but he bit back the words. Instead he said "Oh my God. Is she alright?"

Sheldon took a deep breath, "I guess so, or they'd have taken her to the hospital instead of the police station".

As they pulled into the police station parking lot, Sheldon had his seat belt undone before the car had come to a stop.

Hurrying into the station, Sheldon went straight to the front desk and enquired after Amy.

The desk officer asked them to take a seat, and said someone would be out to see them shortly.

After about 10 minutes, Leonard excused himself, saying he was going to the toilet and to get a drink of tea.

Once out of Sheldon's view and hearing, he took out his cell phone and dialed.

It rang for a long time, before Penny, still half asleep, finally answered "Leonard, it's 2-30 in the morning. What do you want?"

"Listen" he began, "we're at the police station. Amy's killed a burglar".

Penny was instantly fully awake. "Oh my God, are you serious?"

Leonard fought to keep his voice steady. "Yes. We don't know all the details yet, but it seems she disturbed an intruder. There's was a struggle and she stabbed him".

Penny thought for a moment. "Do you want me to come down there?"

"No" he replied. "Stay there. We'll be home as soon as we know what's going on".

At a little after 4 am, Amy appeared, accompanied by a detective and a lawyer. She was dressed in a pale blue denim shirt, stone washed jeans, and white training shoes, all clearly new.

The detective introduced himself, then explained "You're free to go Dr. Fowler, but don't leave the city without telling us".

Sheldon stood up. "Excuse me. I'm Dr. Fowler's boyfriend, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Could you tell us what's happening?"

The detective glanced over at the lawyer, nodded at him, then excused himself and left.

The lawyer took a step forward, held out his hand and introduced himself, "Hi. I'm Jonathan Brookes. The situation is, Dr. Fowler has been freed on her own recognizance, but from what I've heard, I don't think there'll be any charges. It's almost certain to be declared self defense".

Leonard asked, "Where are her clothes?" Brookes replied "They're being retained for forensic testing".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Leonard parked the car in the parking lot adjacent to 2311 North Los Robles Avenue, and they made their way up the stairs.

All the way from the car to the door of 4A, Amy kept a firm, almost vice like grip, on Sheldon's hand.

As Leonard turned the key in the door, Penny opened the door of 4B. She looked at Amy, hesitated, then ran across and hugged her. "Oh my God Amy, are you alright?"

"Yes" replied Amy, "I'm more shook up than anything, and I'm also rather tired so, if you don't mind, I'd like to get some sleep, but I'll catch up with you tomorrow".

With that, she followed Sheldon and Leonard into 4A.

Taking a seat on the couch, Amy thought for a long moment, then said "I'm not allowed back to my apartment. Will it be OK if I sleep here on the couch?"

Leonard smiled at her. "I'm not having you sleeping on the couch. You can take my room".

Amy replied "I can't let you sleep on the couch".

"It's OK" replied Leonard, "I'll sleep at Penny's".

Sheldon said "Thank you Leonard". Turning to Amy, he continued, "Give me 10 minutes while I change the sheets on Leonard's bed, and find you some pajamas, but first, I'll make you a hot beverage".

Amy smiled to herself, as she thought "_Some things never change_".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Glancing at the clock, Amy noticed it was 7 am, and, despite not having had a single minute of sleep since she climbed into the bed, she kicked the blankets back and got up.

In the kitchen sat Sheldon, still in his dressing gown.

Yawning, she asked "Aren't you going to be late for work?"

Turning to look at her, Sheldon replied "I'm not going in this morning. Tea?"

Moving toward the counter, she replied "It's OK, I'll make it".

As she walked past him, he took her by the hand, settled her onto a stool, then got up and began making her a cup of tea.

Looking exasperated, she announced "I'm not an invalid you know. I can make tea".

Pouring the water into the cup, he replied "I know you can, but you're not going to". Smiling, he went on "besides, you're a guest, so, as the host, it's up to me to provide you with breakfast. What would you like?"

Amy asked "What breakfast day is it?"

Thinking for a moment, he replied "Oatmeal day".

"In that case" she grinned, "I'll have oatmeal".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Sheldon asked "Are you sure you will be OK?"

Amy replied "I'll be fine, now go, or you will miss the afternoon as well as the morning. Besides, I'm going to pop over and have a chat with Penny".

As Sheldon left for work, Amy crossed the hallway and knocked on the door of 4B.

Trying to act as normal and casual as possible, Penny said "Oh hi Ames, Come in. Wine?"

Entering the apartment, Amy replied "No wine thanks, but there is something I'd like you to do for me, if you don't mind".

Penny said "Sure, what is it?"

"Well", Amy continued. "I'm not allowed access to my apartment, so the only clothes I have are this shirt, jeans and trainers. I was wondering if you could take me shopping? I know it's an imposition, but I'm currently without a car".

Penny grinned. "Ames, going shopping is never an imposition".

Picking up her car keys, she opened the front door, waved for Amy to leave, slammed the door behind herself, then they both made their way down stairs toward the street, her car and, ultimately, Penny's third favorite activity.

**-o-o-o-o-**

Sheldon had only been in his office for 10 minutes, when Leonard came in and told him Human Resources wanted to see him.

Knock, knock, knock, Mrs. Davies

Knock, knock, knock, Mrs. Davies

Knock, knock, knock, Mrs. Davies

An exasperated female voice answered "Come in Dr. Cooper".

Taking a seat, Sheldon began to explain why he hadn't been in that morning.

Cutting him off mid-sentence, Mrs. Davies explained "It's OK Dr. Cooper, Doctor Hofstadter has already filled me in with what's happened".

Sheldon was confused. "Then why am I here?"

Mrs. Davies went on, "I understand Dr. Fowler is staying with you".

Sheldon interrupted, "**In separate bedrooms!**"

Mrs. Davies smiled at Sheldon's outrage. "Dr. Cooper" she went on, "Your sleeping arrangements are no concern of mine, this department, or the university. I simply wish to tell you that I've granted you a fortnight's compassionate leave".

Sheldon began to reply "I don't need leave. Amy will be fine as …".

Mrs. Davies interrupted him. "Dr. Cooper, go and take care of Dr. Fowler. At the moment, I think she probably needs you far more than we do".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Wandering through the clothing store, Amy couldn't see anything resembling her usual clothes.

"There's nothing here to suit me" she moaned.

Penny replied "Oh I don't know. I reckon these shirts and jeans would look good on you".

Amy sighed "And when have you ever seen me in jeans?"

Penny replied "You're wearing them now, and boy do you look good in them, and they weren't even tailored to fit. A nice tight pair of jeans, and a tailored shirt, would really show off your figure".

With a frown, Amy looked down at herself. "This figure?"

Penny replied "listen Ames, you have a terrific figure, with curves in all the right places. You just don't know how to show it off properly".

Amy thought for a moment. "Oh, what the hell" she said, "if there's one thing I've leaned from last night, it's that you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow".

Picking up two pairs of jeans in her size, she began browsing through the shirts.

Following her, Penny thought "_At a girl Ames. Well make a stunner of you yet_".


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews guys, Loving reading them.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 3.**

As Sheldon let himself into 4A, he called "Amy, I'm home".

There was no answer. Putting the kettle on to boil, he made his way down the hall, knocking on the bathroom door.

Receiving no answer, he knocked at Leonard's bedroom, before poking his head around the door.

Finding the bed empty, he took out his phone and rang Amy's cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail.

"_Damn_" he thought, "_The police still have it_".

In a panic, he dialed Penny's cell phone. It rang four times, then Penny answered, "Hi Sheldon, what's up?"

Sheldon replied "I can't find Amy. She's not in the apartment".

"It's OK" Penny replied, "She's with me. I'll put her on".

A moment later, Amy came on the line. "Hi Sheldon".

"What are you doing out of the apartment?" he asked, the worry evident in his voice.

Taking a deep breath, Amy replied "Relax Sheldon, it's the middle of the day, I'm in a public place, and I'm with Penny".

Sheldon felt a bit silly for panicking. "Yes" he said, "I'm sorry, but I worry about you".

Amy smiled to herself, "Well, there's no need. I'm just doing a bit of shopping. I'll be home soon".

Pausing, she went on, "What are you doing home anyway?"

"Well", he said, "Human Resources have given me a fortnight off, to take care of you".

Amy cringed at the thought of Sheldon, fussing round her for the next fortnight.

She went on, "I don't need you home every minute of the day".

"I know" he replied. "That's what I told Mrs. Davies, but she insisted"

Hanging up, Amy handed the cell phone back to Penny. With a sigh, she said "He was worried about me".

Penny smiled, "That's nice".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Taking a seat in his spot, Sheldon sipped his tea and flicked through the channels on the TV. He was beginning to realize how much he missed Amy, when she was wasn't with him.

As he flicked channels, he thought he caught a glimpse of an actor he recognized. Backing up channels, he found the film again. The actor was Billy Dee Williams.

As he settled down to watch, he also recognized Persis Khambatta.

He decided a film, starring actors from both Star Trek and Star Wars, had to be good.

As he watched, the door opened and Amy and Penny entered, weighed down with shopping bags.

Jumping to his feet, he went to the kitchen counter and began making two cups of tea.

Penny called "None for me thanks. I've got things to do". With that, she opened the door, called "See you later Ames" and left, closing the door behind her.

Pouring the water into just one of the teacups, Sheldon asked "So, what did you get?" He didn't really care about clothes shopping, but felt he should at least appear to be interested.

Half watching the TV, Amy replied "Oh, just some clothes and a new cell phone. Would you like to see?"

Sheldon said "Yes please".

Picking up a bag, Amy pulled out a handful of shirts, two pairs of jeans, and a pair of trousers.

Glancing them over, he said "Amy, you don't wear trousers".

Amy replied "Well, I do now".

Feigning interest, he pasted a fake smile on his face, then asked "So what's the new phone like?"

Amy reached into her jacket pocket and produced her brand new smart phone.

A real smile replaced his fake one, as he purred "Ooo nice".

As she sipped her tea, Amy glanced at the TV. What she saw sent a cold shiver down her spine.

There, on the screen, she saw Rutger Hauer's character, brandishing a knife, as he crept up behind a woman washing dishes at the sink.

Putting her hand to her mouth, she began gasping, before leaping to her feet and running down the hall, toward her bedroom.

Sheldon watched her run and looked back at the TV. Seeing what was being portrayed on the film, he put his hand to his forehead and silently cursed himself, "_You idiot_".

Punching at the remote, he turned the TV off, then ran after Amy.

Bursting into the bedroom, he was pulled up short by what he saw.

Amy was on the bed, back to the headboard, knees pulled up against her chest, sobbing into her hands.

Sheldon had never felt so ashamed. Amy had trusted him to keep her safe, and now she was in tears, and all because of him.

Sitting on the bed, he took her into his arms, holding her tight, as the tears ran down her face and onto his shoulder, her body shaking in time to her sobs. He whispered into her ear, "I'm so dreadfully sorry".

As he held her, the tears continued to roll down her face, soaking his shirt.

Finally, the tears eased, and Amy raised her head from his shoulder.

Her hair was in disarray, her cheeks red from the crying, and her eyes ringed dark from stress and lack of sleep.

"You look worn out" he said, "why don't you get some sleep?"

Her eyelids beginning to droop, she slid down the headboard, until her head was laying on the pillow.

As Sheldon went to stand up, Amy mumbled "Please don't leave".

He lay down next to her, half propped against the headboard. Glancing over, he saw she was finally asleep.

He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, before slipping off to sleep himself.

**-o-o-o-o-**

In his dream, Sheldon heard screaming, then he felt someone kicking him.

Shaking himself awake, he still heard the screaming, and the bed was shaking. It was Amy, still asleep but screaming and thrashing.

In a blind panic, he ran from the room, threw open the front door, ran across to 4B and hammered on the door, shouting "**Leonard, Penny, help!**".

Hearing the shouting, Penny shook herself awake and dashed to the front door.

As she wrenched open the door, she saw Sheldon, eyes wide with fear.

Without waiting for Penny to speak, Sheldon yelled "**It's Amy!**"

Dashing into the bedroom, Penny saw Amy thrashing about on the bed.

Pinning her down, Penny said "Sheldon, talk to her".

Sheldon was caught off balance. He stood there, unable to speak.

Finally, he asked "What do I say?"

Penny snarled "Say anything, but make it reassuring".

"_I can do this_" he thought. then he got on his knees beside the bed.

"Amy" he began, "It's OK, you're safe. Nobody's going to hurt you. I won't let them. You hear me?".

He repeated his reassurances until, gradually, the thrashing and screaming subsided. Eventually, all that remained was her rapid breathing, interspaced with the odd gasp.

Penny got to her feet, turned to Sheldon and, pointing at the bed, ordered "**SIT!**".

Still shaking from the shock, Sheldon did as he was told, before asking "What happened?"

Steadying her breathing, Penny replied "It's a night terror. Amy is prone to them".

Cursing himself for his cowardice, he mumbled "I don't think I can do this".

Penny turned and stared at him, anger flashing in her eyes.

"Listen" she snarled, "I don't care what you think. Amy is your girlfriend and she's had a terrifying experience. **Don't you dare let her down!**"

Sheldon sat there for a moment, fear and self loathing eating him alive.

Finally, he took a deep breath, nodded and replied, "I'm sorry". Shaking his head, he pledged "I won't let her down. I promise".

Penny replied "I know you won't sweetie. Now just lie with her until she wakens up".

Laying down on the bed, he shuffled up alongside Amy, and placed his arms around her.

As they returned to 4B, Penny smiled. "Aren't they just the sweetest couple?"

Turning to look at her, Leonard replied "I know what you're doing, and this is not the time for it".

**-o-o-o-o-**

As sunlight filtered through the curtains, Amy roused from sleep.

Feeling the presence of another body on the bed, she glanced across to see Sheldon lying alongside, his arm around her neck.

Reaching her hand up, she stroked his cheek.

Opening his eyes, Sheldon asked "How do you feel?"

Wriggling free of his arm, she sat up. "Sheldon" she asked, "Why are we in bed together?"

"Well" he began, unsure how much to tell her, "you kinda had a panic attack last night".

"Oh my God" she said, "it was a night terror, wasn't it? I must've scared the crap out of you".

Looking away, he replied "You did a bit, but I'm OK. I can handle it now".

She looked at him, grateful for his help, but unconvinced by his faltering assurance. "Are you sure?"

Nodding slowly, he replied "I'll manage. Now go get a shower, while I make breakfast".


	4. Chapter 4

.

**The Survival Imperative.**

**Chapter 4.**

As he made breakfast, Sheldon was reflecting on the events of last night.

The night terror had, to quote Amy, 'scared the crap out of him', but he couldn't help feeling just a little proud of himself, for calming her down, as per Penny's instructions.

Next time (he hoped there wouldn't be a next time, but he knew the odds were there would be), he assured himself, he would do better.

In fact, he pledged to himself, whatever Amy needed, he would do it.

As he served the food onto plates, Amy entered, wearing a robe, and rubbing her hair with a towel.

Looking her up and down, he noticed her shoulders were hunched more than usual, and the rings around her eyes were still there, but not as pronounced as last night.

Sitting at the counter, she picked up one of the teacups, inhaled the aroma, and took a drink.

Tilting her head back, she took a long look into his eyes. "Thank you Sheldon".

"For what?" he asked.

A tiny smile crossing her face, she replied "For everything. For fetching me from the police station. For worrying when you couldn't find me. For taking care of me last night. But most of all, for being you".

He was about to reply that, as it wasn't his choice to be him, it wasn't logical to thank him for it, but he decided against saying it. Instead, he just shrugged his shoulders and said "Hey, whatever you need".

Standing up, she moved toward him, arms outstretched. Wrapping her arms around his chest, she replied "Right now, I need one of these".

Fighting the instinct to pull back, he gently placed his hands on her shoulder blades, pressing her body against his. Feeling her softness and warmth pressing against him, he thought "_You know, this isn't all that bad after all_".

As the hug threatened to extend into minutes, Amy relaxed her grip and they separated. "_No point freaking him out_" she thought.

They ate with barely a word passing between them. Sheldon was desperate to know the details of the incident involving the intruder, but he decided not to push it. Instead, he'd wait till Amy was ready to talk about it.

As Amy was finishing up her breakfast, he made two more cups of tea, before taking them over to the couch and putting them on the coffee table.

Taking the hint, Amy pushed her plate away from her, made her way to the couch, and sat next to him.

Looking up into his eyes, she began "Sheldon, about the other night".

Interrupting her, he replied "There's no rush. Tell me when you are good and ready".

Amy looked him in the eyes, a look of confusion on her face. "No" she said, "I don't mean about the", she paused, searching for the right word "intruder".

Taking a breath, she went on, "I'm talking about our date".

Closing his eyes and clenching his hands in his lap, he murmured "I know. If I'd been more attentive, you would've stayed, and none of this would have happened".

Amy sat there in shock. She couldn't believe Sheldon was blaming himself.

Reaching across, she took his hand. Squeezing it between hers, she raised it to her chest. "Sheldon" she began, a nervous shudder in her voice, "It's not your fault. It was my choice not to stay for tea".

A tear slipping from his eye, he replied "it is my fault. It's all my fault".

Taking in a deep breath, fighting to control the tears, he went on "If I were a", he paused, almost spitting out the next word, "**proper** boyfriend, you would have been safe, here with me".

Dropping his hand, she placed her hands on his cheeks, staring deep into his eyes. "Sheldon" she pleaded, "It's truly not your fault. It was just a case of bad timing".

As her tears began to fall, Amy leant across, wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on her arm, which was resting on his shoulder.

His own tears slipping from his eyes, he hugged her close, hating himself for letting her down, and swearing to himself, that he would do everything in his power to make up for his failure.

10 minutes later, Leonard walked into the apartment.

Seeing them in each other's arms, Amy's face streaked with tears, he asked "Oh my God. What's happened?"

Taking a deep breath, Amy raised her head to look at him. "It's OK" she said, "We just got a bit emotional".

With a relieved sigh, Leonard turned and headed slowly back toward the door.

"There's no need to go" Amy said, "Stay".

As he slipped out of the door, he called over his shoulder, "No, you guys should be alone. I'll be at Penny's if you need me".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Letting himself into 4B, he said to penny, "You are never going to believe what I've just seen".

Penny looked at him, saw the surprised expression on his face, and said "Well?"

Leonard took a deep breath and replied, "Sheldon and Amy in each others arms". Pausing, he went on, "and they were still that way when I left".

Penny's mouth opened wide, then she asked "Did they see you?"

"Oh yeah" he replied, "Amy spoke to me".

Penny thought for a moment. "As a psychology student", grinning, she went on "with a check plus on her first assignment", pausing, she went on again, "I can tell you, it's not uncommon for traumatic events to bring people closer".

A glint appearing in his eye, Leonard stalked toward Penny. "You know, I love it when you go all psychology student on me".

Grabbing her by the waist, he swung her into him, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her body into his, he pressed his lips to hers.

They kissed long and deep, before penny drew back. "You know what we should do right now?" she asked.

Backing her toward the bedroom door, Leonard replied, "Oh yeah, I know exactly what we should do right now".

Gently swatting him on the nose, she replied "Not that. I mean what we should do with Sheldon and Amy".

Looking a little deflated, Leonard said "Sheldon and Amy is not the image I need right now".

Taking Leonard by the hand, she began dragging him out of the apartment, and across to 4A.

Leonard rolled his eyes. "You just want to see them hugging".

"No", she replied. "What sort of person do you think I am?"

He was about to say a voyeur, but instead he replied "A hopeless romantic".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Striding purposefully into 4A, Penny announced "OK you two, jump to it. We are getting you two out of this apartment, and into some fresh air".

As Amy opened her mouth to protest, Penny grabbed her by the hand, pulling her off the couch, and propelling her toward her bedroom. "Get dressed" she ordered.

Sheldon leapt to his feet but, before he could protest, Leonard put his hands on Sheldon's back, pushing him toward his bedroom, as he announced "Resistance is futile".

**-o-o-o-o-**

As the four of them sauntered through the park, Sheldon slipped his hand into Amy's.

Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, Amy took a deep breath and said "You know, I hate to admit it, but Penny was right. I really did need some fresh air".

Stopping by an ice cream van, Sheldon bought four cones.

As they continued on their walk, Sheldon put his eidetic memory to good use, "The most popular flavors of ice cream in North America are vanilla and chocolate". Penny rolled her eyes at Leonard, and licked her cone again.

It was a very warm day, and their ice creams were beginning to melt. As Amy went to take a lick, a drip fell onto her chin.

Noticing it, Sheldon swept it off with his thumb, saying "Oops, you've dropped a bit", before absentmindedly licking it off his thumb.

Slowing down, to drop back a step or two, Penny looked at Leonard, her eyes wide. She mouthed "Did you see that?"

They continued on their way, two couples out for a walk in the park, with, to anyone not knowing them, not a care in the world.

Stopping at a bench, they sat and watched a group of children playing with a ball. "You know" Amy announced, "this park is really beautiful. We should come here more often".

Sheldon smiled at Amy, relieved that, for a few hours at least, she wasn't thinking of the terrible events at her apartment.

**-o-o-o-o-**

Amy sat on the couch, cuddling into Sheldon, half watching the TV.

She was amazed at the changes he had gone though in the last few days. He seemed so much more comfortable with casual contact, to the point were he'd been the one to take her hand in the park. "_If only he'd been like this sooner_" she though.

Finally, taking a deep breath, she stretched and announced "I'm off to bed".

Sheldon leaned across, gave her a gentle peck on the cheek, and replied "Good night".

Entering the bedroom, She slipped off her jeans, holding them up and considering them for a moment.

"_Huh_" she thought, "_Who would've ever guessed I'd wear jeans_".

Stripping off the rest of her clothes, she put on the pajamas Sheldon had loaned her, noting the freshly laundered smell. Evidently Sheldon had found time to do some laundry.

Slipping into bed, she noticed the same freshly laundered smell of the sheets. Taking in a deep lungful of the fabric softener smell, she snuggled down to sleep.

**-o-o-o-o-**

Amy was standing in her apartment. It was dark, and she knew she wasn't alone.

As she reached for the light switch, a hand wrapped round her mouth, the cold steel of a blade pressed against her neck.

Jerking awake, she sat up with a start.

In his room, Sheldon was lying on top of the covers, half awake, when he heard Amy shout "**SHELDON!**".

Leaping from his bed, he ran from his bedroom and into Amy's.

Flicking on the light, he saw her, sitting bolt upright in bed, eyes wide, her breathing a series of gasps.

Sitting on the bed, he swept her into his arms, holding her tight, he whispered into her ear "It's OK Amy, you're safe. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise".

As her breathing slowed, he lifted his head from her shoulder. Looking into her eyes, he asked "Nightmare?"

Steadying her breathing, she nodded, "Yes".

Sheldon looked at her for a long minute, before saying "Well, you're OK now. Give me a shout if you need anything".

As he went to stand up, Amy grabbed his hand, squeezing it tight. "Please don't go".

"Of course not" he promised, "I'll be here for as long as you need me".

Taking hold of the edge of the blanket, she drew it back.

Glancing at the patch of uncovered sheet, Sheldon took a deep breath. He'd sworn to do whatever it took, and now was his first chance to prove it was more than just hollow words.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he swung his legs onto the bed, lay back and rested his head on the pillow.

Throwing the blanket back into place, Amy snuggled up to him.

Taking a deep, relaxing breath, she closed her eyes. "Goodnight" she whispered. In a moment she was asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 5.**

As daylight peeked into the bedroom, Amy reached across the bed, feeling for her bedmate, but there was just an empty space.

Reaching to the bedside cabinet, she retrieved her glasses and put them on.

Sitting up, she saw Sheldon sitting in a chair, watching her.

"When did you get up?" she asked.

"I woke up about an hour ago, so I got up to avoid disturbing you".

She gave him a thoughtful look, then asked "What happened to 'I'll be here for as long as you need me'?"

Sheldon shrugged "I've not set a foot outside the room all night".

Standing, he stretched, then wandered over to the bed, before sitting on the edge of it.

"So, how do you feel?" he asked.

With a stretch and a yawn, Amy replied "Wonderful. Best night's sleep in years. And you?"

"Likewise" he said, "now go get a shower, while I make breakfast".

Amy considered him for a moment, before replying "It's you're turn to go first".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Stepping out of the shower, he put on his robe and opened the bathroom door, instantly smelling cooking.

Entering the kitchen, he saw Amy, spatula in hand, leaning over the hob.

"Hey" he declared, "that's my job".

Amy sighed, "Sheldon, I'm quite capable of frying a few eggs and a bit of bacon".

He was going to argue, but instead, he smiled and replied "Thanks", before picking up one of the teacups and taking a sip.

After breakfast, they both dressed, then spent most of the morning watching TV and chatting about nothing in particular.

As she casually flicked through the TV channels, she paused on a 24 hour news channel, where a female presenter was half way through a report.

"… in Glendale. It is understood the occupier, believed to be a single woman in her 30s, disturbed an intruder. In the ensuing struggle, the intruder was stabbed. He was declared dead at the scene".

Amy sat there, her face completely blank.

After several seconds, she declared "OH MY GOD!"

Sheldon looked at the TV, realized what must've happened, cursed under his breath and grabbed for the remote.

Amy snatched it from his reach, and began flicking through the channels, desperately searching for another news channel.

Reaching across, Sheldon put his hand on Amy's, pressing the remote into the cushion. Turning to look her in the eyes, he said "Amy, No".

Holding his gaze, Amy replied "Sheldon, I need to see this".

"Very well" he said. Taking the remote from her hand, he paused, searching his eidetic memory for the channel with the most frequent news updates, before selecting it.

A couple of minutes passed, then the report was repeated.

When the report was finished, Amy clasped her hands together on her lap, staring at the screen.

Subconsciously, she'd known all along that she'd killed the intruder, but somehow it almost didn't seem real. Now, hearing it read out loud, it seemed very real.

Her breath becoming jagged, she said "That's me they're talking about. I killed him".

Taking her in his arms, Sheldon drew her close. He could feel her heart pounding.

Resting her head on his shoulder, he whispered, "Listen to me Amy. You had no choice. It was him or you".

Jerking her head off his shoulder, she glowered into his eyes. What would you know" she snarled, "Have you ever killed anyone?"

Sheldon sat there stunned, unable to think of anything to say.

Pulling herself from his arms, she jumped from the couch and ran into her bedroom.

Turning off the TV, he dropped the remote onto the cushion, got up from the couch and followed her to the bedroom.

He was about to walk straight in, but instead he paused and knocked.

Two seconds silence, then Amy's voice came through the door, "Go away!".

Knocking again, he called "Amy, please". There was no answer.

Putting his hand on the doorknob, he began to turn it, then changed his mind.

Turning from the door, he made his way through the apartment, out of the front door, across the hallway, and knocked on 4B.

When penny answered the door, he asked "Have you a minute?"

"Sure" she replied. Closing the door, she followed him into 4A.

Forgoing the offering of a beverage, Sheldon quickly described what had happened.

Taking a breath, Penny sat on the couch, patting Sheldon's spot.

When Sheldon was seated next to her, she began, "Listen sweetie. I know is sounds strange but, justified or not, Amy has killed another human being, and that takes a lot of getting used to".

Sheldon looked baffled. "But why did she shout at me?"

Taking in a slow deep breath, Penny tried to explain. "Sheldon honey. She wasn't shouting at you. She was shouting at the world. You just happened to be in the way".

Sheldon sat there, starting at the floor.

Penny asked "Do you understand?"

Slowly raising his head, he sniffed back a tear, then nodded, "Yes, I think so".

Putting her arms around him, she said "I know it's hard, but it's even harder for Amy".

Squeezing him tighter, she went on, "Amy needs you now, more than ever. Please don't give up on her".

Sheldon thought for a long moment. "I won't" he said, "I promise".

Stroking his arm, Penny said "Just give her time, OK?"

**-o-o-o-o-**

When Leonard let himself into 4B, he found penny sitting with a glass in her hand, staring into space.

"Are you OK?" he asked.

Turning to look at him, she replied "Amy went off on Sheldon, big time. He was practically in tears".

Leonard was silent for a while, then he said "I guess it'll take time, but Amy's tough. She'll pull through".

Penny asked "Do you think we should pop in and see how they're doing?"

"Good idea" he said, "Oh, and leave the wine".

Crossing the hallway, Leonard knocked on the door.

Sheldon answered, looking a bit less stunned than when Penny had seen him earlier.

When the three of them were seated, Leonard asked "How's it going buddy?"

"It's hard" Sheldon said. "She won't even come out of the room. She's been in there since just after twelve".

Without a word, Penny slipped away and went to Amy's bedroom.

Knocking on the door, she called "Amy honey, please open the door".

A few seconds passed, then Amy called "It's open".

Peering round the door, she saw Amy lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Amy sweetie" she began, "come and talk to Sheldon. He's worried about you".

Turning slowly, Amy swung her legs off the bed, bringing herself to a sitting position.

She confessed, "I shouted at him. I don't know why. He didn't do anything, but I shouted at him".

Penny replied "I know you did, but he doesn't care about that. He only cares about you".

Reaching out, she took Amy's hand. For a moment Amy resisted, then she allowed herself to be lifted from the bed.

As they entered the living room, Amy said "I'm sorry Sheldon. I shouldn't have shouted at you".

Taking a seat next to him, she continued "Please forgive me. It was uncalled for".

Turning to look at her, Sheldon said "There's nothing to forgive".

Emotional as ever, wiping his eyes and sniffing back tears, Leonard said " I think we'll be going".

Amy said "Please stay for a while".

Sheldon, thought for a moment, then said "How about Leonard and I go and get a take out, and we'll make a night of it?"

Once the boys had left, Penny turned to Amy.

"Listen Amy" she began, "There's times to be tough and independent, but this isn't one of them. You can't do this on your own, nobody can".

Pausing, she went on "Sheldon loves you. You know that, don't you?"

Amy nodded.

Penny continued, "Sheldon's stronger than you realize, and he wants to help. Please don't shut him out".

**-o-o-o-o-**

As the time approached 11pm, Leonard and Penny made their excuses and left, leaving Sheldon and Amy cuddled together on the couch.

Amy turned to Sheldon and said "I'm really sorry for shouting at you".

Cuddling her in tighter, Sheldon replied "Let's just forget about it, OK?"

Standing up, he took Amy by the hand. "Come on" he said, "bed time".

As he settled into bed alongside Amy, Sheldon thought "_I could get used to this_".

Amy looked across at Sheldon. Taking a deep lungful of the fabric softener smell, she whispered "Goodnight", before flicking off the bedside lamp and slipping into a peaceful night's sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 6.**

Amy couldn't sleep. She had been lying awake, mulling over things in her mind.

At 3-30am, she slipped quietly from the bed and made her way to the living room, where she sat silently, staring into space.

**-o-o-o-o-**

At 6-15, Sheldon awoke to a strange, lonely feeling. Flicking on the light, he discovered he was on his own.

Kicking back the blankets, he stretched and got out of bed.

Following a visit to the bathroom, he wandered into the living room, to find Amy asleep on the couch, gently snoring.

Taking two teacups down from the shelf, he put the kettle on to boil and popped a teabag into each cup.

As the kettle began to boil, Amy peered over the back of the couch and called "Morning".

Setting the cups on the coffee table, Sheldon sat next to her. With a smile, he asked "Good sleep?"

Stroking his arm, she lied "Yes, very good. You?"

**-o-o-o-o-**

At 10am, Amy dressed, then announced she was popping over to have a chat with Penny.

Padding across the hallway, she knocked at 4B.

Seconds passed, then Penny opened the door, a slice of toast in her hand.

Amy asked "Have you got a minute?"

Swallowing her mouthful of toast, penny said "Sure, come in".

Sitting on the couch, Amy began "Could you give me a lift to the bank and my apartment?"

Penny replied "Sure, but I thought you weren't allowed into your apartment yet?"

"I'm not. I just want to pick up my mail".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Stopping at the bank, Amy collected her new ATM card, and withdrew five hundred dollars.

Pulling up outside Amy's apartment block, Penny asked "Do you want me to come in with you?"

Fighting to keep her breathing steady, she replied "No thanks. I'll only be a minute".

Entering the lobby, she reached in her pocket, for the key to her mailbox.

"_Damn_" she thought, "_the key is in the apartment, with all my other things_".

Taking a deep breath, she looked up the stairs, before placing a foot on the first step. She took a step, then another, and another, as she moved onward, toward the third floor.

Arriving on the third floor, she trod slowly along the corridor, until she was finally standing outside 314.

Reaching past the police tape, she held her breath and brushed her hand across the surface of the door. The hallway seemed to darken and close in around her.

Fear rising in her chest, she turned to run and crashed into someone standing behind her.

"Jesus" she gasped, "you scared the life out of me".

Penny asked "What are you doing here?"

Breathing deeply and slowly, to slow her racing heart, Amy replied, "trying to decide if I could bear to live here again".

"And could you?"

Looking back at the door, she murmured "I don't think so. Let's go".

**-o-o-o-o-**

As Sheldon sat there, staring at the TV, the door opened and Amy walked in.

Getting a bottle of water from the fridge, she sat opposite Sheldon.

"Sheldon" she began, "I wasn't completely honest with you, when I said I was popping over for a chat with Penny".

Sheldon gave her a questioning look, but went on before he could begin to respond. "I've been to my apartment".

Sheldon thought for a moment, letting the information sink in.

"Why would you do that?" he asked.

Amy took a breath, "I needed to see if I could face living there again".

"And could you?"

She shook her head, "No, I couldn't, which means I need to start looking for a new apartment".

Sheldon took a deep breath, willing himself to say what he was thinking.

His palms beginning to sweat and his throat going dry, he forced himself to say it. "Amy, you don't need to find another apartment, because you've got one here".

Amy stood rooted to the spot. Had she heard him right?

Turning to look at him, she asked "Did you just ask me to move in?"

Sheldon smiled, "I believe I did".

A smile spreading across her face, she replied "I'd love to live with you".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Leonard and Penny sat on the couch in 4A, waiting to hear the news they'd been told to expect.

Finally, Sheldon and Amy stood before them, holding hands.

"Well" began Amy, "today Sheldon asked me to move in, permanently". Glancing at Sheldon, she began to grin, "and I said yes".

Penny jumped up and wrapped her arms around Amy. "Congratulations" she said, hugging her.

Releasing Amy, she turned to Sheldon, who realizing what was coming, began to back away, but it was too late, he too was caught in a hug.

Leonard smiled, before saying "So, I guess I'll be moving out".

Sheldon gave him a quizzical look, "Why on earth would you move out"?

"Because" replied Leonard, "This place only has two bedrooms".

Without thinking, Sheldon replied "Amy and I only need one bedroom".

Penny froze, her mind analyzing the last sentence, before shouting "**You're sleeping together?**"

Putting her hands over her ears, Amy replied "Shush. we don't want the whole building to know".

Just then, the phone rang. Picking it up, Amy said "Hello".

Listening for a moment, she replied "speaking". Seconds went by, then she said "Thank you, goodbye".

Amy stood there, a blank look on her face.

Sheldon looked at her for a long moment, then asked "Well?"

"Well" she replied, dragging out the pause, "That was the police. They're not pressing charges".

Sheldon let out a long "**YESSS**", then, slipping his arms under her armpits, he hoisted her up until their faces were level with each other, before giving her a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Finally, remembering they weren't alone, he lowered her to the ground.

Penny announced "This is worthy of a celebration. Sheldon let's you and me go and get a take-out, while Leonard fetches the wine from my apartment".

Before Sheldon had a chance to argue, Penny had dragged him out of the door, and halfway down the stairs.

As they drove toward the takeaway, Penny began her interrogation, "OK Sheldon, what's going on?"

Sheldon feigned ignorance, "I don't know what you mean".

Rolling her eyes, Penny replied "In the last 48 hours, I've watched you hold Amy's hand of you own free will, eat ice cream that was on her chin, and kiss her in front of other people, so what's going on?"

"Well" he replied, "you told me to be more attentive, so that's what I'm doing".

Penny smelt a rat, "Oh no, there's more to it than that" she accused. "You like it, don't you?"

His cheeks turning red, he replied "OK, you're right, I do like it, but please don't tell Amy?"

"Don't tell Amy?" she asked incredulously, "Why haven't **you** told her?"

Without waiting for an answer, she went on, "So what's changed, that made you start liking it?"

Turning yet a deeper shade of red, Sheldon whispered "jeans".

"Sorry" she said, "I didn't quite catch that?"

Clearing his throat, he repeated "jeans, they're so", gulping he finished the sentence "tight".

At the top of her voice, Penny announced "**So Sheldon's an ass man? Who would've guessed it?**"

**-o-o-o-o-**

As they drove back with the takeout, Sheldon shifted uneasily in his seat. Finally, with a tremor in his voice, he said "Penny, I need your advice".

She was about to make a smart comment, about the great Sheldon cooper needing her advice, when she glanced at him and realized he was serious. "OK" she said, "I'll do my best".

Stealing himself, he asked "How do I go about kissing Amy?

Penny was confused, "I thought you were sleeping together?"

"We are" he replied, "but when we say sleeping together, we actually mean sleeping".

Penny was definitely slow on the uptake, as she said "Yeah, but you've kissed Amy before now".

Sheldon let out a long sigh. He was clearly going to have to spell this one out.

"I need to know how to **properly** kiss Amy".

Finally she understood.

"Well" she said, "I'd usually suggest taking your lead from the person you are kissing, but, as it's Amy, I guess you'll just have to wing it".

Sheldon sighed again. "_This is getting complicated_" he thought. "How will I know if I've got it right?"

Penny grinned, "Trust me sweetie, you'll know, and so will Amy".

**-o-o-o-o-**

As they lay in bed, Sheldon was silent, deep in thought. He was wondering if he could actually do this?

Steadying his breathing, he turned to look at Amy, who was lying on her back.

"Amy" he said. Hearing her name, she turned her head to look at him, their faces just inches apart.

Before she had the chance to say anything, and before his nerve failed him, Sheldon closed his eyes and moved toward her, capturing her lips with his.

For a moment he lay there, his lips on hers, then, driven purely by instinct, he began to move his mouth, feeling the textures of her lips on his.

Gradually, Amy began to kiss him back.

His mind full of thoughts and sensations, he wondered what it would be like to taste her mouth.

Opening his mouth a little, he flicked his tongue across her lips, tasting the faint hint of the cherry lip gloss she'd been wearing that evening.

Recovering from the shock of Sheldon's tongue on her lips, she parted hers, and his tongue was in her mouth.

She could taste the mint of his toothpaste, and feel the heat of his mouth on hers.

As his tongue explored her mouth, Sheldon realized he'd forgotten to breath. With a gasp, he broke the kiss, his head swirling from lack of oxygen and the mass of feelings and emotions.

His heart pounding, he drew his mouth back, and opened his eyes.

Amy lay there, her eyes shut, her mouth open, and her breathing fast.

As his breathing steadied, he asked "Amy, are you OK?"

Amy opened her eyes and, staring into his, she replied "Wow Sheldon, where did that come from?"

Unsure if her had upset her, he asked "Amy, was that OK?"

A smile spreading across her face, she replied "It was more than OK. Now do it again".


	7. Chapter 7

.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 7.**

As sunlight began to peek in through the bedroom window, Amy blinked her eyes open.

Thinking back to their make out session, the previous night, she felt a stirring in her loins.

Glancing across at Sheldon, she noticed he was still asleep.

Slipping her pajama bottoms down, she gently kicked them off her feet, before sliding her hand down between her legs.

Holding her breath, she slid a finger across the swollen lips before pressing it into the hot damp flesh, then began stroking the inner wall.

Slipping her other hand down, she used her middle finger to rub on her clitoris.

Resisting the desire to moan, she slipped a second finger inside herself, rubbing faster and faster.

Suddenly the bedside light flicked on, and she was caught red handed.

Sheldon gave her a disapproving look. "Amy" he said, "that's completely inappropriate".

"Oh to hell with inappropriate" she replied, as she pinned him on his back and swung her leg over his legs, so she was straddling him, her hands resting on his muscular chest.

Feeling his growing hardness pressing into her, she began to grind herself onto it, reveling in the sensation of his arousal pressing into her core.

Grabbing her wrists, he rolled her over, trapping her under him, pinning her hands to the bed on either side of her body.

He hesitated, his arousal, contained within his pajama pants, just inches from her naked womanhood.

Staring into his eyes, she demanded "**Sheldon, take me now!**"

His breathing becoming ragged, he stared into her emerald eyes.

Letting go of her left wrist, he freed himself from his pajamas and pressed the engorged head into her.

She braced herself as she felt the tip nudge against her, then he slid fully in.

He began to thrust, gently at first, but gradually faster and faster, building up a rhythm, as they headed toward their mutual climax.

Her breath shortening, she clamped her eyes shut and waited for the shuddering orgasm she knew was about to sweep through her body.

As he drove her toward her climax, he began calling her name, in time with his thrusts, "Amy - Amy - Amy".

As he called out her name, his voice became louder and more insistent, "Amy - AMY - **AMY**" and her body began to tremble and shake, then, to her annoyance, she began to feel herself slipping away from the release she so desperately wanted.

Then the feeling of Sheldon inside her began to fade. Cursing to herself, she opened her eyes and stared into his.

"Amy" he asked, concern in his voice, "are you OK? Did you have another nightmare?"

She paused for a moment, trying to orientate herself, before nodding her head and lying "Yes, but I'm OK now".

As her breathing slowed, she sat up and swung her feet out of the bed.

Sheldon began to get out of bed, but she said "there's no need to get up. I'm only going to the bathroom".

Padding into the bathroom, she locked the door and sat on the edge of the bath.

Slipping down her pajama bottoms, she held her right hand over her pelvis and drew her middle finger between the swollen lips, before using the wetness to lubricate her nub. Closing her eyes, she began rubbing and teasing it, feeling the waves of pleasure sweep through her body, her breath shortening, as she crept ever closer to the climax she so desperately needed.

Biting her lip, to prevent herself from crying out, she shuddered as the accumulated tension finally ebbed from her body.

She paused for a minute, letting her pulse and breathing slow, then she flushed the toilet and washed her hands.

Unlocking the door, she padded back to the bed.

Settling in alongside Sheldon, she reassured him "I'm OK".

Flicking off the bedside lamp, she snuggled up to him and slipped off to sleep again.

**-o-o-o-o-**

Amy was in her apartment, and it was cold and dark, save for a shaft of moonlight, illuminating a patch of floor.

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could make out a dark stain on the floor.

Kneeling down she noticed a metallic smell. It was then she realized the stain was blood.

Pulling herself up from the floor, she turned toward the front door.

As she reached for the door handle, the door morphed into a dark human like shape, with just the eyes visible.

With a jolt, she leapt back and, turning, ran for all she was worth toward the bedroom.

She tried to slam the bedroom door behind her, but it was too late, it was in there with her.

As she backed toward the bed, a hand reached out and grabbed her by the throat.

As she began to choke, she jerked herself awake.

Outside, it was just beginning to grow light and, in the half light, she was relieved to see Sheldon was still asleep.

"_Great_" she thought, "_That's all I need, sexual frustration __**and**__ nightmares_".

**-o-o-o-o-**

"So, that's another couple of hundred bonus this month".

Penny paused and looked at Amy, who was quite clearly not listening. Touching her arm, she shook it gently and said "Amy".

Amy jumped, as the touch on her arm dragged her back to reality.

Penny asked "Amy, that's the second time you have been daydreaming. What's wrong?"

Looking around the room, as if checking they were alone, she lowered her voice and said "OK, but you've got to promise not to tell anyone, not even Sheldon".

Penny replied "OK", but Amy went on, "No, I really mean it this time, **You cannot tell anyone**".

Penny looked concerned, "OK I promise, now what's going on?"

Taking a deep breath, Amy explained "Well, I'm still getting the nightmares, but now, I'm also having erotic dreams".

Penny's eyes lit up. "So" she asked, "what's fantasy Sheldon like in the sack?"

Trying to act nonchalant, Amy replied "Who said it was Sheldon?"

"Oh come on Amy", Penny said, "who else is it going to be? I see the way you look at him. Lady, you are a goner where Sheldon is concerned".

Amy blushed, "OK, it's Sheldon, satisfied?"

"More to the point" Penny grinned, "are you satisfied?"

"Actually no" she replied, "I always wake up before I reach that point".

Penny gave her a consolatory smile, "That's rough". Pausing, she thought back to an earlier part of their conversation, "Hang on, why can't we tell Sheldon?"

"Because" Amy replied, "Sheldon doesn't know about the erotic dreams. I just lie and tell him they are all nightmares".

Penny asked "Surely the sexy dreams are better than the nightmares?"

"Yes and no. They're not frightening, but they're exhausting. Between the two of them, I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. Last night's dream was really tiring, although I guess the French Kissing didn't help".

Penny was about to let that last remark pass, until she remembered Amy didn't know about the discussion she and Sheldon had had. "**Oh my God**" she exclaimed, with a little too much fake incredulity, "**you made out?**"

Thinking for a moment, Penny asked "Couldn't you just take care of business yourself?"

"I do" she replied, "twice, sometimes three times a day".

"OK" Penny said, "could you maybe give Sheldon a nudge? You know, gee him along a bit?"

"Are you kidding?" Amy replied, "it's taken four years to get Sheldon to French Kissing. By the time he gets to second base, I'll be a gibbering insomniac, with the world's worst case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome".

When no response was forthcoming, Amy went on, "That's why I'm here. I was wondering if you could do something to help me?"

Penny giggled, "Amy" she said, "I know we're best friends, but there are limits".

Amy rolled her eyes, "Oh very funny, but, as you well know, that's not what I meant".

"OK" Penny asked, "what do you want me to do?"

"Well" Amy said, leaning forward conspiratorially, "I was wondering if you could get me something", she paused, her voice dropping to barely a whisper, "with batteries".

Penny grinned "Amy, you can say vibrator".

"OK" Amy replied "could you get me a", again her voice dropped to a whisper, "vibrator?"

**-o-o-o-o-**

As they ate breakfast, Sheldon remarked "Amy, it's been 12 days, and I'm due back at work in 2 days, but I have 2 weeks vacation time left".

Swallowing the bacon she was chewing, Amy replied "It's OK Sheldon. Don't think I haven't appreciated you taking care of me, because I have, but I can manage on my own".

Taking a drink of tea, he asked "Are you sure? You are still having nightmares".

In truth, she'd only had one nightmare in the last three days, the rest being erotic dreams, but she had said they were nightmares, rather than admit the truth to him.

"Sheldon" she replied, "I only get them at night, and you will be home every night, won't you?"

Finishing up his tea, he replied "Yes, I'll be home every night. As long as you are sure you will be OK, here on your own?".

Truth be told, she was glad he was going back to work, so he would have to stop fussing over her 24/7. Much as she enjoyed being with him, he was driving her to distraction, with his over protectiveness.

"Sheldon" she said, "let me take you out to dinner tonight, as a thank you".

He was about to insist that, as her boyfriend, it was his job to take her out to dinner, but then he noticed the stern, determined look on her face.

"Dutch?" he asked.

"No" she replied, "tonight's on me".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Amy took another mouthful of wine. She was on her third glass, and was really starting to feel the effects.

Leaning across the table, she murmured "I love you", before planting a brief kiss on his lips.

Jerking back, Sheldon replied "I love you too, but we're in a public restaurant".

Her smile dropping from her face, she sighed. "Sheldon" she asked, "have you ever done anything reckless or spur of the moment?"

He thought for a moment. "Well" he replied, "I did once track down James Earl Jones to a restaurant, and ask him to appear at my Sci-Fi convention".

Amy sighed. "Actually, I meant something intimate. You know, like making out in a restaurant, that sort of thing?"

"Amy" he replied, "have you forgotten I kissed you on a train?"

Amy grinned at him, "Now we're talking". With that she put her glass in front of him. "Here drink this and kiss me".

"OK" Sheldon said, " I think it's time we went home".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Entering 4A, Sheldon called "Leonard", but there was no answer.

Amy commented, "He's not here. That's handy. Now, I believe we have some unfinished business".

Taking hold of his tie, she led Sheldon to the couch and pushed him onto his spot, before sitting astride him, putting her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his.

As his lips began to move on hers, she felt him hardening under her.

She began to rock gently back and forth, pressing herself onto him, as she softly moaned into his mouth.

Opening her mouth, she flicked her tongue across his lips, tasting and teasing, gently pressing for entry to his mouth.

Suddenly he jerked his head back and twisted himself sideways, depositing her on the cushion next to him.

Standing up, he adjusted himself in his pants, before announcing "bedtime I think".

As he strode off toward the bedroom, Amy sat there, feeling frustrated yet again.

As she finished changing in the bathroom, she paused, replaying what had just happened on the couch.

Padding into the bedroom, she found Sheldon already in bed, lying on his back.

Slipping in alongside him, she lay on her back, looking up at the ceiling.

"Sheldon" she said "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that".

Talking a deep breath, he turned to look at her. "Amy" he said, "I do want you, you know that, don't you?"

Pausing, he went on, "It's just that it's all new, and kinda scary".

Whether it was the wine, or frustration from their incomplete make out session, she didn't know, but she regretted it the moment she quoted it to him, "Have you forgotten 'Hey, whatever you need'?"

Sheldon stared at her in disbelief. He couldn't believe she could stoop so low, as to use his own words against him like that.

Turning his back on her, he drew the covers up around his neck.

Snuggling up behind him, she could feel the tension in his muscles.

"Sheldon" she began, "I'm sorry. That was underhand. Please don't go to sleep angry with me".

Rolling over, he said "I'm not angry with you. I'm just rather out of my depth here".

Looking into his cobalt blue eyes, she replied "You think I'm not out of my depth too? It's just that, after what happened back there", she paused, flicking her head toward the window, to indicate her apartment.

She went on, "I don't want to live the rest of my life, afraid of trying new things".

A look of sadness in her eyes, she continued, "I could have died that night, and I don't want to waste another minute of what time I have left".

He thought back to the conversation he had with Leonard, just before they got the call from the police.

"Amy" he said, "I'm not really sure if I can ever give you all that you want".

Taking a deep breath, he held it for a long moment, then released it, before going on, "perhaps you should consider finding someone who can".


	8. Chapter 8

.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 8.**

Strolling out of the bedroom, Amy found Sheldon fully dressed.

"Going somewhere?" she asked.

"Yes" he replied, "I'm popping into work for a couple hours. You don't mind, do you?"

Amy smiled to him, "No, I'll be fine".

Once he'd left, she gave it 5 minutes, then slipped out of the apartment, and knocked on 4B.

After a few seconds, Penny answered and Amy entered and took a seat on the couch.

Opening a drawer, Penny removed a small brown paper bag, and handed it to her. "Here you go, as promised".

As Penny handed her a cup of tea, Amy began absentmindedly picking at the paper bag.

"Are you OK?" Penny asked, "you look like you haven't slept all night".

Amy sighed, "I haven't". She paused before continuing, "I think me and Sheldon maybe finished".

Penny felt like the roof had fallen on her. "**You what?**" she asked, "what do you mean finished? What happened?"

Amy continued picking at the paper bag, "It was my fault".

Penny asked "How?"

"I tried to force him into sex, by using his own words against him".

Penny inhaled sharply through her teeth, "Bad move Ames".

"Oh it gets worse" Amy replied, "I pretty much told him I didn't want to waste my life, waiting for something to happen".

Penny inhaled again. "Yikes" she said, "that was a bit rough".

She considered Amy for a moment, then asked "So, where do you go from here?"

Amy thought for a moment, then replied "Well, Sheldon suggests I find another man, someone who is interested in having intercourse".

Penny was gob smacked. "You're not actually considering that, are you?

Stroking her hair back over her head, Amy replied "It would solve a lot of problems. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is, to keep making out with Sheldon, only to have him keep pushing you away?"

Penny shook her head. "Just promise me" she said, "that you won't do anything rash".

Amy shrugged. "OK, I promise". "Mind you" she went on, "on the plus side, the erotic dreams have stopped, but on the minus side, the nightmares are back, with a vengeance., Three last night, hence why I got hardly any sleep".

"Look" said Penny, why don't you get a few hours sleep here. You can use my bed".

**-o-o-o-o-**

When she heard the door open at 4A, Penny slipped out of her apartment, and dashed across, grabbing the door just as Sheldon was about to close it behind him.

Pushing him into the apartment, she swung the door to behind them both, then, without giving him time to speak, she shouted "**YOU MORON!**"

Sheldon recovered his balance and, in a steady voice, said "Who is it? Oh hi Penny, do come in".

Penny replied "Cut the sarcasm. What the hell are you up to?"

Sheldon was silent for a moment. "I take it Amy has told you?"

"Of course she's told me. Go and get laid by another man? Whose crazy idea was that?"

Sheldon replied "Leonard's actually".

Penny shook her head in disbelief. "Leonard suggested you tell Amy, to go and sleep with another man?"

"Yes" he replied. "It was just before we got the call, to say Amy had stabbed the burglar".

Penny closed her eyes and screwed up her face in frustration. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Taking a deep breath, she asked "And what of your promise, that you wouldn't let her down?"

He smiled, proud of his own ingenuity, "I fully intend to keep that promise" he replied. "We will simply dissolve the relationship agreement, and Amy and I will revert to the friendship agreement. If necessary, I will draft an amendment, to cover emotional support in times of crisis".

Penny's voice started to rise. "**Sheldon**" she snarled, "y**ou can't run lives based on some stupid agreement! These are human beings we're talking about. They have feelings**".

Steadying her voice, she continued, "Sheldon, you love Amy, don't you?"

"Of course I do" he replied, "she's the most beautiful, kind, wonderful, amazing person I've ever met".

Putting her hands to her forehead in exasperation, Penny let out a long slow breath. "Sheldon" she asked, "If you love her so much, how can you possibly encourage her to have sex with another man?"

Sheldon thought for a moment, "Because she wants sex".

Penny stood there in disbelief. Taking a long deep breath in, she held it. Finally letting it out again, she looked Sheldon straight in the eyes.

"Sheldon" she began, "this whole business can be easily sorted in 30 minutes".

"Really?" he asked, "and how would that work?"

"Simple" she replied, her frustration boiling over, "**Go and fuck Amy!**"

Sheldon stood there, stunned by Penny's coarse language.

By the time he'd recovered, Penny had gone, the apartment door slamming shut behind her.

**-o-o-o-o-**

In 4B, Amy had been woken by the sound of a slamming door.

Flicking on the bedside lamp, she sat up and put on her glasses.

Stretching, she glanced around the room, her eyes coming to rest on the brown paper bag standing on the bedside cabinet.

Picking it up, she opened it and peered inside.

Upending the bag, she tipped out the contents, a brightly colored box about 2 inches square and about 8 inches long.

With a trembling hand, she opened the box and tipped the contents into her left hand.

There it lay, bright pink, made of rigid plastic, about one and a half inches in diameter and seven inches long, tapering to a blunt point at one end.

Weighing it in her hand, she gave a slight turn to the wheel at the opposite end. A faint tingle ran through her left hand.

Turning it off again, she began turning it in her hand, as though examining it for markings or flaws.

As she continued to examine it, there was a knock and Penny's head popped round the door.

Caught off guard, Amy dropped it onto the bed.

Penny grinned at her, "Cute Eh? Girly pink".

Seeing Amy blush bright red, she continued "Relax. I've got one too. It's no big deal".

Hesitatingly, Amy picked it up again, and popped it into the paper bag.

Winking at her, Penny teased "You can use my bathroom, if you'd like to give it a trial run".

Rolling the paper bag tightly around it, Amy cleared her throat and meekly replied "No thanks, I'll wait till later".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Leonard let himself into 4B, carrying the take out Penny had asked him to bring.

Penny was sitting on the couch, a glass of wine on the coffee table in front of her.

As he put the take out on the kitchen counter, Penny turned to look at him and, in a calm voice, asked "What kind of an idiot are you?"

Leonard was confused. "I'm sorry" he asked, "what have I done now?"

"Oh, nothing much" she replied, "except tell Sheldon to get Amy laid by another man".

Leonard jumped back like he had touched a live wire. "I did nothing of the sort" he protested.

Penny asked "Are you sure? Let me take you back about 2 weeks, to an early morning conversation, just before the police rang to say Amy had stabbed the burglar".

As it came back to him, Leonard winced. Then he asked "He didn't, did he?"

Penny replied "No he didn't, but he damned near did".

Leonard made for the door, but Penny intercepted him, asking "Where do you think you are going?

Leonard replied "I'm going to try and sort this mess out".

"Too late" Penny replied, "I've already sorted it, and I don't think they are going to want to be disturbed tonight".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Amy was laying on her side, with her back to Sheldon, who was on his back.

When she was settled, Sheldon rolled gently over, until he was spooning her.

Reaching over, he began playing with the hem of her pajama jacket.

When there was no reaction, he slipped his hand down her belly, until it was resting between her legs, on top of her pajamas.

Amy's hand grabbed his wrist, pinning it against her.

"What do you think you are doing?" she asked.

He whispered in her ear "Making love to you".

Turning to look over her shoulder, she looked into his eyes, which were the only part of his face she could see, in the half light of the room. "Why?"

Sheldon paused, thinking of an answer, "Because I love you?".

Amy gave a game show wrong answer like 'Eh-Eh" sound. "Try again", she said.

Sheldon ventured "Because you would like me to?"

Again the game show sound. Panicking, Sheldon hesitated, trying to think of a convincing answer.

Turning on the bedside lamp, she stared him straight in the eyes. "**The truth!**" she demanded.

Sheldon's voice dipped to a whisper, "Because Penny said to".

Amy was outraged. Yanking his hand from between her legs, she sat up.

"**You were going to screw me, because Penny told you to?**"

Sheldon began stuttering, "a-a-ctually she said something else, but the meaning was the same".

Throwing back the covers, she leapt from the bed.

Turning to glare at him, anger flashing in her eyes, she snarled "We have sex because **you want me**, not because someone tells you to".

Pulling open a drawer, she dragged out a blanket. "**I'm sleeping on the couch!**" she shouted.

Pausing , she continued, "**and if all I want is an orgasm, I can arrange that myself!**".

With that, she heaved open the drawer containing her clothes, snatched up the vibrator and, holding it up like a trophy, stormed out of the room and into the bathroom.

Entering the bathroom, she dumped the blanket on the floor, locked the door, and sat on the edge of the bath, still fuming.

Although she wouldn't admit it to Sheldon, his brief touch had excited her. She longed to return to the bedroom and claim his body for her own, but her anger and stubbornness prevented it.

Instead, she slipped her pajama trousers down to her ankles, then spread her legs.

Twisting the dial on the plastic phallus, she held it by the base, pointing downward.

With the index and second finger of her other hand, she gently parted her lips, before stabbing the tip of the vibrator onto her clitoris.

The sensation was so intense, she almost slipped off the edge of the bath, as her legs turned to jelly.

"_Jesus_" she thought, "_how does Penny stand this?_"

Her knees shaking, she took a couple of deep breaths, to steady her breathing and pulse.

Twiddling the dial, she realized the vibration intensity was variable.

Turning it down to about a quarter, she gently reapplied it to her nub.

Holding it there for a few seconds, she began stroking the tip along her swollen lips, then she gently pressed it inward.

There was a touch of resistance, then it was in her, the tapered end spreading her as it slid further inward.

Finally, it was completely in. She sat there, eyes shut, wondering if this was what it felt like, to have a man inside her.

Tweaking the setting higher, she squirmed under the intense sensations, a tight knot building inside her, until she could stand it no more.

Slipping it out, she dragged the tip across her hot lips, before pressing it once more onto her throbbing nub.

With an animal like groan, she came with an intensity she had never experienced before.

Turning it off, she wiped it with a piece of tissue, then rinsed and dried her hands.

Unlocking the door, she padded into the living room.

Curling up on the couch, under the blanket, she tucked the vibrator under her thigh so she wouldn't lose it, and snuggled down to sleep.

As she drifted off , her last thought was "_Screw Sheldon. This will keep me going for a while_".


	9. Chapter 9

.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 9.**

Amy woke to an uncomfortable digging sensation in her right buttock. Reaching under herself, she pulled out the offending object.

Holding it in front of her eyes, she briefly studied the pink plastic toy, before walking to the bedroom and knocking on the door.

When there was no answer, she peeked around the door and, finding the room empty, she dropped the toy into the drawer with her clothes.

Pushing the drawer closed, she glanced around the room. Spotting her phone on the bedside cabinet, she picked it up and noticed a text message alert.

Opening the message, she read, 'I'm sorry about last night. I hate it when we fight. Are we OK?'

Pausing, she thought back to last night, then, with a half smile, she replied 'We're OK'.

After showering, dressing and drinking a cup of tea, she made her way over to 4B and knocked.

Penny opened the door and said "Hi Ames. How goes it?"

Slipping past Penny, Amy took a seat on the couch. Pausing, she looked Penny up and down.

She began "Penny, how could you?"

Penny was confused. "How could I what?"

"Tell Sheldon to have sex with me?"

Rolling her eyes, she continued, "not that you even called it that".

Penny looked even more confused. "But I thought that's what you wanted?"

"I do" she replied, "but I want him to have sex with me, **because he wants me**, not because you tell him to, or he feels obliged to".

Penny sighed. "Can't you just sleep with him anyway?"

"No" Amy replied, "that would be cruel. It would mean I had no more regard for him, than I do for that lump of plastic in my drawer".

As she finished talking, her phone rang. Answering, she listened for a moment, then replied "Yes, of course I'm interested". Listening again, she replied "A couple of hours? OK, see you then".

Turning to Penny, she asked, "Could you give me a lift?"

Penny replied "Sure. Where are you going?"

"To look at a new apartment".

Penny's face dropped. "You're moving out?"

"Yes" she replied, "under the circumstances, I don't think us living together is a good idea".

Penny asked "You and Sheldon are still friends, right?"

"Of course we are" she replied, "we'll always be friends, and I'll always love him, but we want different things".

**-o-o-o-o-**

The apartment looked and smelt new. It had been completely renovated and redecorated.

The landlord was the same one who owned the apartment block she used to live in.

As she wandered around the apartment, the landlord explained "under the circumstances, and given you are an existing tenant, I'm happy to let you do a straight swap. You could have the keys within a week".

Amy took another look around, then asked "What do you think Penny?"

Penny glanced around. She wanted to say she hated it, or that it wasn't big enough, or too big, or inconvenient for work. Any reason to keep Amy living with Sheldon. Instead, she simply said "Yes, very nice".

Amy took one more look around the living room and, turning to the landlord, she said "I'll take it".

After leaving what was now her new apartment, she had Penny stop at a car dealer, where she picked up a new key she had ordered, then went and collected her car from the parking lot, at her old apartment block.

As she put the key in the ignition, Penny stood looking at her, a sad expression on her face.

Amy said "Penny, it's really for the best".

Tears forming in her eyes, Penny shook her head. "I had such hopes for you two".

Amy smiled, "So did I , but it wasn't to be".

**-o-o-o-o-**

As they began eating, Penny said to Leonard, "Amy's moving out".

Pausing with the fork half way to his mouth, he said "You're kidding! What happened?"

Penny replied "Sheldon admitted he was only making love to her, because I told him to".

Leonard frowned so deep his eyebrows almost met. "You told him to do it? You know how bad Sheldon is at lying".

Penny replied "I know, but I'd run out of ideas, so I figured it was worth a shot".

"So they're finished?"

Penny thought for a moment. "According to Amy, they'll remain friends".

"And how often does that work?" he asked.

Penny shrugged. "Well, they have such a crazy relationship, maybe they're just the ones to make it work".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Sheldon arrived home to find Amy sitting bolt upright on the easy chair, her hands in her lap, fingers interlocked.

As he went to put his bag down, Amy said "Please come and sit down. I need to speak to you".

When he was sitting in his spot, Amy handed him a single sheet of paper.

Glancing at it, his face took on a puzzled look, and he said "This is a termination notice, for the Relationship Agreement. Are you leaving me?"

"Yes and no" she replied. "Yes, I'm leaving the relationship, but I do want to continue with the Friendship Agreement. However, I'll understand if you don't want to".

Sheldon felt like he'd been hit by a wrecking ball.

"But Amy" he said, "I love you".

"I know you do" she replied, "but you're not in love with me".

"What's the difference?" he asked.

"Oh Sheldon" she began, "the fact you need to ask that question, proves you aren't really in love with me".

"But I am" he insisted. He paused, "I'll prove it to you".

Taking her by the hand, he led her toward the bedroom. For a moment she resisted, then she allowed herself to be led.

Leading her into the bedroom, he pushed the door shut behind them.

For a moment, he stood and looked at her, then he put his hands behind her head and drew her face to his, pressing his lips to hers.

Amy stood there impassive, not responding to the kiss. He had to do this of his own free will.

Breaking the kiss, he placed his hands on her hips and turned her toward the bed, sitting her on it.

Kneeling in front of her, he took his right hand from her hip and raised it in front of him, pausing with it just inches from her left breast.

His breathing became jagged, as he hesitated, his eyes flicking between her eyes and her breasts.

Taking in a deep breath, he held it, then reached forward and placed his hand on her breast.

The touch sent shivers down her spine. Fighting to control her own breathing, she silently urged "_Go on Sheldon, go on_".

It was as though he had heard her. A tiny smile beginning to creep across his lips, he leant her back onto the bed and, lifting himself from his knees, sat on the bed next to her, before leaning over to press his lips to hers in a deep, passionate kiss.

Breaking the kiss, Amy pressed her mouth close to his ear and whispered "Yes Sheldon, yes".

Sitting up, he began unbuttoning her shirt. Once it was unbuttoned to the waist, he drew it apart, pausing to survey her body.

Leaning over her again, he began kissing her neck, moving slowly toward her chest.

Amy's heart was pounding, her breasts heaving in time with her breathing.

As his lips grazed the top of her breasts, he froze. Raising his head, he looked into her eyes. "I can't do this!"

Slowly rising to a sitting position, she placed her hands on his shoulders and, in a gentle, reassuring voice, she said "Sheldon, you can do this. I know you can".

His whole body shaking, he muttered "I can't".

Pulling away from her, he jumped to his feet and ran from the bedroom. A moment later, she heard him throw the bolt on the bathroom door.

Amy sat there, tears starting to trickle down her cheeks. She did love him, but she couldn't bear how his inner demons were tearing both their hearts to shreds.

**-0-0-0-0-**

Sheldon climbed into the shower, standing under the scalding hot water. It scorched his skin, but he didn't care.

After about 20 minutes, he switched off the shower and dried himself.

As he entered the living room, dressed in a bath robe, he saw Amy bending over the arm of the couch, sorting stuff in an overnight bag.

"Amy" he asked, "You're not staying?"

She looked at him, a look of sadness on her face. "No" she replied, "I'm booked into a hotel for a few days".

"Then what?"

Picking up the bag, she replied "I've got a new apartment".

Tears beginning to well in his eyes, he asked, almost in a whisper "I will see you again, won't I?"

"Of course you will" she replied, a half hearted smile on her face, "I'll Always love you, and we'll always be friends".

As the door closed, Sheldon looked around the room, his eyes coming to rest on his computer desk.

Moving toward it, he scooped up his Nintendo DS.

Momentarily weighing it in his hand, he flung it across the room, where it crashed into the wall, shattering into a dozen pieces.

**-o-o-o-o-**

Unlocking the door, Amy climbed into the driver's seat of her car. It still smelt odd, cold and clammy, from the two weeks it had stood unused.

Turning the key in the ignition, she swung the car from the parking lot, heading out of town, toward the hotel.

As she drove, tears ran down her face.


	10. Chapter 10

.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 10.**

It was 4 days before anyone heard from Amy.

Having learned she had left the apartment that evening, Penny tried ringing and texting her, but there was no answer.

Finally, on the afternoon of the fourth day, she received a text message, giving the address of the hotel.

Jumping in her car, she drove straight round.

Penny had barely tapped on the door, when it swung open and Amy invited her in.

Amy explained the events of the last evening.

When she was finished, Penny thought for a moment then, sweeping her hair back with her hand, she asked, "So why didn't you help him? You know, throw him on the bed and ride him senseless?"

Amy shook her head. "No" she began, "I had to know that he actually wanted me, and that he had the nerve to carry it through".

Penny asked "And if he had gone through with it, you would've stayed?"

Amy nodded "Yes".

Penny rolled her eyes. "I don't understand you Amy. First you turn him down, when he wants to make love to you?"

Amy interrupted. "He didn't want to. It was your idea, remember?"

Penny went on, "Then when he tries again, you just lie there until he loses his nerve?"

"That's about the size of it".

Pausing, Amy continued. "I can't spend my life, waiting for Sheldon to get up the nerve to do something. Apart from anything else, it's bloody frustrating, every time he gets me aroused and backs out at the last minute".

Amy sucked on her lip. "There's a girl at work, whose brother is a divorcee. She says she can set me up with him".

Penny frowned. "Amy, no".

"What do you want me to do?" Amy asked, "stay a virgin my whole life? As a divorcee, he must know his way around a female body".

She went on, "No matter who I choose, you won't be happy, because it's not Sheldon".

Penny sighed. She knew Amy was right. No matter who it was, she'd want it to be Sheldon instead.

"OK" she said, "but please promise me it'll be romantic, and not just rutting with some Neanderthal".

"I promise" Amy replied, "it'll be romantic".

Closing the door behind Penny, Amy took out her cell phone. Dialing, she put it to her ear and waited for it to connect.

When it did, she said "Hi Rhona, it's Amy. Listen, if Steven is still interested in a date, I'm free Saturday evening".

Listening to the reply, she went on "Great, give him my cell phone number and get him to text me the where and when".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Amy was so busy that week, that the time flew by.

Having received the keys to her new apartment on Tuesday, she went out and bought a new bed, bedding, couch and coffee table.

Next, not being able to face going into her old apartment, she did a deal with a house clearance company. In exchange for transporting her microscope, computer, laptop, clothes and books, they could have the rest of the contents for free.

On Wednesday she moved into the new apartment, then went straight out and bought more things, including some frilly white underwear, a smart trouser suit, and two dresses, one of which was similar to her prom dress, but darker blue.

She topped this off with some makeup, including red lipstick.

On Wednesday evening, she received a text from Steven, giving the name and address of the restaurant, and the time, 7-30pm.

On Friday evening, she took a long shower, then settled down to practice putting on her makeup.

As she was about begin, her cell phone rang. It was Penny.

"Hi penny" she said, "What's up?"

Penny replied "I haven't heard from you for a few days. Is everything OK?"

Amy replied "Yes, everything is fine. I've just been busy". "In fact" she said, "why don't you pop over now? I could use some pointers on this makeup".

There was a pause, then Penny asked "Makeup?"

"Yes" she replied, "I have a date tomorrow night".

"OK" Penny said, "give me the address and I'll be right over".

Twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door.

Amy opened the door and Penny stood there gob smacked. After a moment, Penny said "Amy, you look amazing".

Amy replied "You think?"

Penny looked at the makeup and said "Yep, not much wrong there, but let's try some variations, just to be certain".

As Penny gave Amy some pointers on the makeup, they chatted.

Although she did her best not to mention it, Penny could only resist the temptation to ask, for so long.

Reaching for an eyeliner brush, she asked "Are you sure about this date?"

Putting down the lipstick she was holding, Amy sighed. "Penny" she began, "I know what you are thinking, because it's crossed my mind as well, this date should be with Sheldon, and I'd like it to be too, but we both know it's not going to happen. He's just not interested".

Penny forced a smile onto her face. "I guess you're right. Anyway, enjoy yourself".

**-o-o-o-o-**

At 4pm on Saturday, Amy took a long luxurious bath, after which she slipped into her frilly new underwear.

As she opened the door to the wardrobe, to take the dress from the rail, she caught a glimpse of herself, in the full length mirror on the inside of the door.

Looking herself up and down, her shoulders dropped and she turned away with a frown.

Laying the dress on the bed, she began applying her make up.

At 6-45, she slipped into her dress, briefly examined herself in the full length mirror, picked up her purse and sat by the door, waiting for her 7pm taxi.

**-o-o-o-o-**

At 7-25pm , she entered the restaurant, and identified herself to the maître d.

She was shown to a table, where she found a man with short, dark blond hair, who stood and took her hand.

He introduced himself, "I'm Steven Fox, Rhona's brother, and you must be Amy".

Dipping her head in acknowledgment, Amy replied "Yes, Amy Farrah Fowler".

With a smile, he replied "Pleased to meet you Amy".

Drawing the second chair from the table, he gestured to it, "Please".

As Amy sat, he asked "Would you care for a drink?"

Amy smiled politely. "White wine please".

They chatted as they ate, and Steven was the perfect, attentive gentleman, listening in apparent fascination as they chatted about her work in neurobiology, and his as a plastic surgeon.

The night passed enjoyably, with no uncomfortable silences.

At just after 10-30pm, Steven settled the check, then offered her a lift home, which she would ordinarily decline, but she felt strangely comfortable, so accepted.

As they drove to her apartment, they continued to chat.

Arriving outside her apartment, she said "Thank you for a lovely evening. I've had a really nice time".

Bowing slightly in acknowledgement, he replied "Me too. If you are free Thursday, I'd love to take you to dinner again".

"Yes please" she blurted out, with a little too much eagerness. "Pick me up here, 7 o'clock?"

"It's a date" he replied. Leaning forward, he placed a gentle kiss on her left cheek.

He drew back but Amy reached her right arm forward and put her hand behind his neck, pulling him in closer, as she pressed her lips to his.

For a moment, he was caught off guard, but then he responded, opening his lips to stroke his tongue across her lips, tasting her.

Feeling light headed, Amy broke the kiss and, fighting to steady her breathing, she asked, "Would you like to come in?"

He nodded and Amy turned the key in the door.

No sooner were they inside, and the door closed, than they were on the couch, their mouths fused together, and their hands exploring each other's bodies.


	11. Chapter 11

.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 11.**

Thursday afternoon found Sheldon getting back to his old self.

It was approaching a fortnight since Amy moved out, and thoughts of her seldom intruded on his work any more, but he couldn't say the same of his leisure time.

Knocking off for lunch, he made his way down the corridor toward the cafeteria, when who should he see heading toward him, but the one and only Amy Farrah Fowler.

As they approached one another, he found himself speaking "Good afternoon Doctor Fowler. What brings you to Caltech today?"

"I've just been into Human Resources" she replied, equally formally, "I start back full time on Monday".

"I'll see you then" he replied, then went to continue along the corridor.

"Sheldon" Amy announced, her voice softening, "just because we aren't together, doesn't mean we can't be friends".

Sheldon paused. "You're quite right" he replied, "it was wrong of me to call you Doctor Fowler. My apologies, Amy".

"Sheldon" she replied, "how about we get together and catch up?"

"I'm free tonight" he announced.

Amy bit her lip. "I'm afraid I'm not" she said, her eyes dipping toward the floor, then her voice dropped in volume, "I have a date".

There was silence for several seconds, then she went on, her voice becoming more upbeat and relaxed, "I'm free tomorrow".

For a moment, Sheldon considered inventing an engagement, to show he too was still in demand socially, when in truth he was back in his old routine of card and computer games, take outs and watching TV and DVDs.

"So am I" he replied.

"Great" Amy said, scribbling her address on a scrap of paper and handing it to him, "My place at 7?"

"See you then" he replied, his voice becoming cheerier and warmer.

**-o-o-o-o-**

Finishing up his bowl of fruit cocktail, Steven took a sip of his wine, then leaning forward, he lowered his voice.

"Amy" he said, "I've had a wonderful time".

"Me too" Amy replied with a smile, then Steven went on. "I was wondering if you would join me for dinner, on Saturday evening?"

"I'd love to" Amy replied quickly, then Steven continued what he was saying, "and, and I know it will only be our third date, and I don't want to rush you, but would you consider staying the night?"

Amy's heart was racing, but she fought to control her breathing, as she weighed up the pros and cons.

It was of course true what he had said, that it would only be their third date, but Steven was a gentleman, with whom she felt comfortable, and who, from experience, she felt she could trust.

On their make out session, at the end of their first date, he had stopped the moment she'd called a halt to it, which couldn't have been easy, given his hands were at second base, inside her dress.

Also, although she'd only met him less the two weeks ago, he wasn't some random guy she'd met on the internet. He was the brother of one of her work colleagues.

Noticing how long she was taking to answer, Steven cut in on her thoughts, "I'm sorry. It's clearly too soon. Please forget I asked".

"Thank you Steven" she said, giving him a grateful smile, "and yes, I would love to stay the night".

"Just one thing though" she went on, her voice dropping to little more than a whisper, "and I don't know the social protocol for this, so I apologize if this isn't the right time to mention it, but I'm a virgin".

Amy blushed, embarrassed at having to admit that she was still a virgin, at close on 40 years of age.

Taking her hand, he replied, "Amy, that's sweet".

"Not pathetic?" she asked.

"No" he said, "I think it's really wonderful".

"This is scary" Amy confided, "but it's what I want".

Looking into her eyes, he gave her a reassuring smile.

"And you chose me? I'm truly honored". Pausing, his voice also little more than a whisper, he continued, "We'll take it slowly, we won't rush, and It'll all be at your pace".

That phrase, 'It'll all be at your pace' hit her like a boulder. She'd said it, or words to that effect, to Sheldon, many times over the years.

"_What Am I doing?_" she silently admonished herself, "_thinking of Sheldon at a time like this?_"

The meal ended and Steven drove her home. Opening the car door, she asked "Are you coming up?"

He thought for a moment. "I don't think so. I'll see you Saturday, 7 o'clock?"

"See you then" she replied, leaning across to kiss him. Their lips touched and they paused for a moment, then Amy drove her lips onto his, her arms around his neck, her mouth open, her tongue pressing against his lips, until his mouth opened and her tongue was inside, stroking against his, the heat and dampness, the sliding and touching driving her insane with desire.

Dragging herself from him, she apologized, "I'm sorry".

"Don't apologize" he replied, "it was wonderful, and I loved every second of it".

Pausing, he considered her for a moment, reminding himself of her confession over dinner.

"I'll come up if you want?" he offered, "We don't have to wait till Saturday, if you don't want to, but it's still entirely your decision".

In that moment, she wanted him to take her right then and there, then she realized how tacky it sounded, losing your virginity in a car. That was something high school kids did, not women in their late thirties.

Smoothing down her dress and straightening her hair, she replied "I think we'll stay with what we've arranged. I'll see you at 7 on Saturday. Goodnight".

With that, Amy was out of the car and heading for her apartment block, with Steven driving away.

As she climbed the stairs, she considered what had just happened in the car.

If Steven had been some kind of creepy weirdo, she reasoned, he'd have taken that opportunity to have his way with her.

The fact that he didn't was reassuring, although none of this helped in any way, with her urgent and pressing need.

Entering her apartment, she threw her bag on the couch and hurried into her bedroom, stripping as she went.

Opening her bedside cabinet, she took out her pink plastic friend and, turning the base to about half way, she pressed the tip against her nub, a deep groan emanating from within her throat.

She lay there for a minute or so, twitching and moaning, then she pressed it into herself, the tapered shape spreading her walls, as it slipped deeper into her, until only an inch or so remained.

She lay there, the vibrations twisting her insides, her loins in exquisite delightful agonies, her mind a mass of sensations and feelings, as she crept toward her desperately needed release.

Gripping the control wheel, she twisted it to full power, clamping her walls down against it, as her loins burst into flames, her breathing little more than staccato gasps.

It's said there's a very fine line between pleasure and pain, and she was flirting with that line, as she lay there, thrashing and bucking, then she withdrew it and stabbed it against her nub, taking her well over the line, an animalistic scream issuing from her throat, as she tumbled into her orgasm, her eyes clamped shut, her breathing a series of strangled gasps.

She lay on the bed, her breathing gradually slowing, the vibrator still buzzing away next to her.

Finally, her breathing steady, she turned the vibrator off and dropped it into the drawer, then crawling under the covers, she slipped into a deep, relaxing sleep.

**-o-o-o-o-**

Knock, knock, knock, Amy.

Knock, knock, knock, Amy.

Knock, knock, knock, Amy.

Glancing at her watch, she saw it was precisely 7pm.

Opening the door, she invited Sheldon in. "Welcome to my new home" she announced with a regal wave of her hand, "what do you think?"

Sheldon perused it for a moment or two. "Very nice" he announced, "quite a bit larger than your last …", he trailed off, "sorry".

"It's OK" she reassured him, "things like this are bound to get mentioned from time to time. Tea?"

They sat on the couch, drinking their teas, in an uncomfortable silence.

Finally Amy Said, "Look Sheldon, we can't go on like this. We used to be able to talk for hours, and we're still the same people".

"True" he replied, "Did you go into your lab yesterday, when you visited Caltech?"

"I did" she replied, "and it's in a right state. My assistant had better have it tidy by Monday".

"That's why I insist on a room all to myself" Sheldon said, "I learned my lesson, the time Raj worked for me".

The conversation continued into the evening, nothing heavy, just idle chitchat, then, as he prepared to leave, Amy instinctively went on tiptoes, and they came together for a end of date night kiss.

For a moment they held the kiss, then, breaking apart, they announced in perfect synchronism, "sorry".

"It's OK" Amy said, with a dismissive waft of her hand, "force of habit".

"I guess" he replied, paused, then went on, "I'd better be going".

The door closing behind him, Sheldon stood still, then slowly turning, he looked at the door number, 314. With a sigh, he mumbled "Goodnight Amy, I love you".

On the inside, Amy leant against the door, a single tear trickling down her cheek.

In barely a whisper, she announced "I love you Sheldon".

**-o-o-o-o-**

Entering 4A, Sheldon dropped his bag on the easy chair, followed by his jacket.

As he headed toward the corridor at the back of the apartment, he called "Goodnight", then he was gone.

"This isn't good" Leonard announced.

Penny give him a quizzical look, and Leonard expanded on his remark, "Sheldon never leaves his jacket anywhere other than on the coat hooks".

"Should we go and see if he's OK?" Penny asked.

"I don't think so" Leonard replied, "give him a day or two. As his mother says, you have to take your time with Shelly".

Sheldon lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, sleep eluding him, as the night dragged on.

In desperation, he tried reading the Geology book, but even that didn't put him to sleep, his mind too full of memories and imaginings, the most vivid, an image of Amy engaged in coitus, with a faceless man.

As dawn began to break, he gave up on the idea of sleep, and made his way out of the apartment. He didn't want sympathy, or the third degree from Penny, so instead spent the day wandering the streets, stopping off at the model train and comic book stores.

As the afternoon dragged on, he found himself in the local park.

Wandering through it, he smiled at his memory of the visit the four of them made, after Penny ordered them out of the apartment.

He remembered wiping the ice cream from Amy's chin, then licking it from his thumb.

He would never have dreamed of doing that for anyone else, but somehow, Amy was different. He trusted her, completely, even if she did spend her working day, cutting up often diseased yucky squishy things.

**-o-o-o-o-**

Taking hold of the hem of Amy's nightgown, Steven lifted it gently over her head.

She sat there on the bed, naked as the day she was born, as, his breathing rapid, he roamed his eyes over her body, drinking in the vision of loveliness before him.

"Oh God" he whispered, "you're so beautiful".

Putting his hands to her cheeks, he kissed her gently, easing her down onto the bed, his body following her down, his hands leaving her cheeks, to descend downward, caressing her shoulders, passing on down her sides, to her hips, his right hand continuing down, to stroke her inner thigh, Amy's heart beating like a drum, her breathing fast and shallow, as his hand stroked her hot, moist folds.

Looking her in the eyes, he asked the question, "yes or no?"

"Yes" she gasped, her loins on fire, her body shivering, her breathing rapid and labored.

Slowly and gently, he pressed himself against her, feeling the heat of her, then he looked her once more in the eyes, as she nodded and murmured "YES".

Pushing forward, he slipped into her, her arousal making her so wet, there was almost no resistance.

Amy felt him slide into her, feeling just a tiny drag and a brief and slight flinch of pain.

They lay still for a moment, as Amy grew accustomed to the sensation. "_Oh God_" she thought, "_this is a million times better than the vibrator_".

His head resting in the hair bunched on her shoulder, he felt her nod, then he stroked gently into her, Amy's hot breath on his cheek, as she moaned into his ear.

He speeded up, thrusting gently but firmly into her, as Amy rocked and twitched and jerked under him, her body on fire, her mind a mass of new and wonderful feelings and sensations.

Lifting his head from her shoulder, he looked into her eyes, but it wasn't Steven, it was Sheldon.

With a scream, Amy jerked herself awake. Her body was drenched in sweat, her eyes wide and her breathing bordering on hyperventilating.

It took ages for her breathing to slow, as she lay on her back on the bed, a heavy wetness deep in her core.

Finally, her breathing steady, she dragged herself from the bed. Glancing at the clock and seeing 3-30am, she thanked an unspecified deity, that she wasn't back at work till Monday, and could therefore catch up on her sleep later in the day.

Entering the bathroom, she shed her drenched nightgown, then stepped into the shower, rinsing the perspiration from her body then, taking the shower head from its wall bracket, she set it to the power shower setting, and held it against herself, feeling the exquisite sting, as the needle like spray played onto her nub and swollen lips.

Twenty minutes later, her sexual frustration eased, she turned off the shower and made her way back into her bedroom, to lay, still wet, on her bed, soon to fall asleep, naked and thoroughly satisfied.


	12. Chapter 12

.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Chapter 12.**

Rinsing the shampoo from her hair, Amy squeezed shower gel into her hands and massaged it across her stomach and breasts, then she paused, listening for a repeat of the knock she thought she heard.

Hearing a second knock, she quickly rinsed her body, then, turning off the shower, she jumped from the cubicle, grabbed her bathrobe, heading for her front door, slipping it on and fastening it as she moved.

Putting a knot into the cord, she swung open the front door, announcing "Hello Leonard".

Glancing at her wet and messy hair, Leonard said "Sorry to drag you out of the shower. Is Sheldon here?"

"No" she replied, "why?"

"He went out first thing this morning, before I got up" Leonard informed her, "and he's not been back since. I'm getting a little worried. Have you two had an argument?"

Shaking her head, Amy confirmed "No. The last time I saw him, we had a pleasant evening".

"Look" Leonard went on, "he was a bit quiet when he arrived home from your da.., sorry, evening together. Could you call round this evening and have a word with him? Say about 8 o'clock?"

"I'm afraid I can't" Amy replied, "I have a date tonight".

"Perhaps afterward?" Leonard ventured, but Amy cringed, "sorry, but I won't be coming home tonight. I'm spending the night with Steven".

Leonard tried not to let his disappointment show, but his glance around the hallway gave him away. "OK, thanks anyway. Have a nice evening".

"You too" Amy called after him, as she closed the door.

Shedding her bathrobe, she jumped back in the shower, refilling her hands with shower gel, then continuing to wash her body.

With a final rinse, she hopped from the shower, grabbed a couple of towels, and made her way to her bedroom, where she opened the closet, using the full length door mirror to examine her naked body.

Frowning slightly, she sat on the bed and dried herself, before dressing in jeans, a T-Shirt and cardigan.

Having dried her hair, she slipped on her Mary Jane Pumps, let herself out of her apartment, made her way to the building's parking lot, and drove to the nearby retail park.

Wandering around the lingerie department, she idly stroked the material of a couple of nightgowns, then a middle aged lady approached her, asking "Could I be of assistance?"

Amy replied "I'm looking for something", pausing she went on "I don't know really. Something for a first night, if you know what I mean?"

"That would be a first night with a new partner, I assume?" she asked Amy with a smile.

Blushing slightly, Amy confirmed "Yes".

"What did you have in mind?" the assistant asked, "something see-through, or something a little more modest?"

Gesturing to her own body, Amy asked "maybe something to distract him from this body?

Giving Amy a sad look, the assistant replied "Without wishing to get too far into personal matters, why would you what to distract him from your body? Surely, the fact he's with you, means he finds your body attractive?"

Giving her a smile, Amy announced "You're right. I should be less self deprecating. Thank you. You know what, let's go short and see through, and sexy black".

"This way" the assistant replied with a grin, "I have just the thing".

**-o-o-o-o-**

laying back in the bubble bath, soaking, Amy stretched, releasing the tension in her shoulders, then she pulled the plug and lay there, as the water ran away.

Once the bath was empty, she stepped into the shower, and gave herself a quick rinse.

Having dried herself, she sat at her dresser and did her make up, keeping it tasteful and understated.

Glancing at the bedroom door, she stood and took the hanger from the hook, holding the Baby Doll Nightie against her body, running her fingers over the sheer fabric, feeling her fingertips touch her own stomach through the flimsy material. Looking in the mirror, she noticed how incredibly short it was, hanging barely lower than her hips.

With a grin, she declared to herself, "If this doesn't get him going, nothing will".

Picking her overnight bag from the floor, she unzipped it, carefully folded the nightie, smoothing it on top of her change of clothes, then re-zipped the case.

Stepping into a pair of skimpy white panties, settling them into position, she put on a very low cut, matching white bra, then stepped into her pale blue evening gown, zipped it up, and examined herself in the full length mirror.

"_Not bad_" she thought, then immediately admonished herself, over her lack of confidence. "_If he didn't fancy you_" she reasoned, "_he wouldn't be with you, let alone ask you to spend the night_".

"Oh my God" she murmured, a swarm of butterflies filling her stomach, "spend the night. what have I got myself into?"

Her breathing becoming labored, she made her way to the refrigerator and poured herself a glass of wine, drinking it down in one go.

Checking the time, she saw it was 6-15pm, a full 45 minutes to kill. Flicking on the TV, she came in half way through an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation.

The next thing she knew, there was a knock at the door. Opening it, she said "Good evening Steven. Just let me get my wrap, and I'll be right with you".

Settling the wrap on her shoulders, she picked up her overnight bag, closed the front door, popped the key in her purse, then, linking her arm with his, they made their way down to the street.

Settling into the passenger seat, she fastened her seatbelt, and they were off.

**-o-o-o-o-**

Turning his key in the door, Sheldon let himself in, threw his coat and bag on the easy chair, called "Goodnight", then headed for his bedroom.

"That's it" Penny announced, jumping up from the couch, "I'm getting to the bottom of this".

Before Leonard could stop her, she had marched down the hallway, and burst into Sheldon's room.

Quickly rising to a sitting position, Sheldon declared "Penny, you can't be in here. Girls aren't allowed in my room".

"Bullshit" Penny countered, "Amy's been in here loads of times".

Before he could check himself, Sheldon declared "Amy's different, she's, she's, erm, she's".

"**Special?**" Penny challenged.

Standing, Sheldon made for the door, but Penny put herself in front of him.

Sheldon considered her for a moment, then ordered "let me out".

"**NO!**" Penny declared, raising her voice and puffing her chest out "if you want out, you will have to go through me".

Sheldon raised his hands, holding them a couple of inches from her upper arms, ready to grab her and push her out of the way, then he slowly lowered his hands again.

"OK" he asked, "what do you want?"

Taking a breath, Penny said "I, correction **we**, want to know what the hell is going on, with you and Amy?"

His voice dropping in volume, Sheldon replied "We want different things".

"**Rubbish**" Penny replied, "you wanted Amy, that day I told you to go and fuck her, and you would've done too, if she hadn't made you admit it was my idea".

Pointing her finger at him, she went on "now I what the truth, and I warn you, I'm going to stand here until I get it".

"OK" Sheldon agreed, sitting on the bed, his resistance slipping, "I'm terrified she's going to die".

Shaking her head, as though trying to shake the thought from her brain, Penny asked "What? What makes you think she's going to die?"

A tear forming in the corner of his eye, Sheldon replied "She nearly did, that night. Everyone who's meant anything to me has died, my Pop-Pop, my father, Arthur, and then Amy almost did".

Tears starting to roll, he went on "I couldn't bear it if she died".

"And your answer to that" Penny asked, "is to be apart?"

The tears still running down his cheeks, Sheldon nodded, the sobs in his throat preventing him from speaking.

Sitting on the bed next to him, she turned to him, and put the flat of her right hand on the left side of his chest.

Her voice softening, she explained to him "Amy's in here now, and she always will be. She's a part of you. Whether you are living together, or living a thousand miles apart, it makes no difference, it's going to hurt just as much, if she dies".

Stroking his arm, Penny continued, "You can either live apart, unhappy and alone, or you can be together, loving one another, being with each other. You two have decades ahead of you. Don't let fear of the future, deprive you, of the wonderful life you can share right now".

"But I can't stop thinking about it" he replied, "every time I see her, it's there".

"I know sweetie" Penny assured him, "and the shock of that night makes it worse, of course it does, but you've got to stop thinking of the far distant future, and concentrate on the here and now".

"Do you and Leonard ever think about it?" he asked.

"Of course we do" Penny assured him, "but not all the time. We live for the moment, and we'll worry about the future when it happens, and that's what you must do".

Slowly and carefully, she put her arms around him and, to her surprise, Sheldon didn't pull away. "Go get her back Sheldon" she urged, "while you still can".

"You're right" Sheldon announced, his voice back to normal volume, the tears easing, "I've been a fool. How could I have thought letting her go would solve the problem? It doesn't, it can't".

"Penny" he begged, "please drive me to Amy's".

Leonard coughed, "Amy's not there".

"Of course not" Sheldon declared, rubbing his forehead, "she's on a date. She told me the other evening. I'll see her later, when she gets back from her date".

Leonard frowned. "I didn't what to have to tell you this, but Amy won't be home tonight. She's staying the night with Steven".

Sheldon looked like he'd been hit with a sledgehammer. "That must mean?"

"I'm afraid so" Leonard nodded, "I'm sorry buddy".

The tears starting again, Sheldon turned and lay on the bed, curling into the fetal position, his body trembling.

Slowly and silently standing, Penny left the room, followed by Leonard, who closed the door behind him.

Sitting on the couch next to Leonard, Penny asked "Why didn't you tell me about Amy staying the night with Steven, before I stormed in on Sheldon?"

"It slipped my mind" he confessed, "then when you started with Sheldon, I remembered, but it was already too late. I hoped it wouldn't have to come out".

"Poor Sheldon" Penny said, frowning, "I wish there was something we could do".

"There isn't" Leonard confirmed, "he has a big decision to make. Even if he can get her back, I don't know if he will still want her back now".

**-o-o-o-o-**

"When you said dinner" Amy said, "I thought you meant you were taking me out to a restaurant, not to your home, which, by the way, is beautiful".

"I thought it would be cozier" he replied, "not to mention private".

Glancing at a framed picture of a young girl, Amy asked "Your daughter?"

"Yes" Steven replied with a smile, "Sarah. She was eight when that picture was taken. She's fifteen now".

"And" Amy asked, coughing gently, "your, erm, ex wife? You still she her?"

Steven frowned, but Amy continued, "I feel I need to know".

"Fine" he replied, "Her name's Helen. we've been divorced almost three and a half years. I occasionally see her, but only in relation to Sarah".

"And the house?" Amy asked.

"If you are asking if it's the matrimonial home, the answer's no. That was sold during the divorce".

"I'm sorry if it feels like I'm prying" Amy said, "but I know so little about you, which is understandable, given how little time I've known you".

"Its OK" he reassured her, "I'm curious about you too".

"That's fine" Amy assured him, "ask me anything".

"You've, erm" he hesitated, "never had a serious relationship?"

"I'm sorry" he continued, "but under the circumstances, it's the obvious question, and you did say ask anything".

"The circumstance being, me being a virgin?"

Steven nodded.

"I've only had one relationship" she admitted, smiling, "although I'm not sure if I would call it serious". "_More like weird and ridiculous_" she thought to herself.

"I take it, it didn't last long?" Steven asked.

"Actually it did" Amy informed him, "over four years".

"**Four years?**" he replied, unintentionally raising his voice, "and you didn't? I mean, erm, you just didn't?"

"Have sex?" Amy asked casually, "no, we didn't".

With a smile, Amy asked "How on earth did we get onto taking about my one and only previous boyfriend?"

Finishing up his dessert, Steven took a sip of his wine, then leaning forward, he asked "Not rushing you, but if you're ready, shall we?"

**-o-o-o-o-**

Sheldon lay on his bed, on top of the covers, his mind in a turmoil.

How could he get Amy back, and if he could, did he want to? A lot had happened in the last few weeks. A lot of things had been said, a lot of things done. Could they put all that behind them, he wondered?

For hours he tossed and turned, until realization struck him. Yes, despite everything, he knew he was in love with Amy, and, if he could get her back, he would. Even the thought of her having sex with Steven, horrifying as it was to him, wasn't enough to stop him wanting her, needing her, loving her.

When the sun began to rise, Sheldon knocked on Leonard's bedroom door, calling "Penny, please take me to Amy's".

"What if she's not there? Penny called back.

"Then I'll wait." he called back through the door, "I'll wait all day if I have to".

There was the sound of a scuffle, then a female voice cursed "shit", as she tripped over something, then the door opened, and Penny stood there in just her bra and panties.

Barely noticing her undressed state, Sheldon urged her, "hurry. I need to get round to Amy's".

Dragging on a pair of shorts, a T-Shirt and a pair of training shoes, Penny grabbed her car keys, and she and Sheldon dashed out of the apartment, taking the stairs two at a time, heading for the street and Penny's car.

**-o-o-o-o-**

Amy awoke, to the sound of someone knocking loudly on her front door.

Dragging herself from the bed, she struggled into a dressing gown and staggered to the front door.

Pulling the door open, she stared at Sheldon, noticing the dark rings around his red puffy eyes.

Without waiting for Amy to speak, Sheldon marched straight up to her, wrapped his arms round her waist, lifted her off her feet and, kicking the door shut behind him, marched them both toward the bedroom door.

"**Put me down!**" Amy demanded. For a moment, Sheldon continued toward the bedroom, then he slowed, eventually coming to a stop, finally putting her down.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" she demanded of him.

"I'm here to make love to you" he replied, as though it was a perfectly normal way to start a conversation, at eight fifteen in the morning.

"Are you crazy?" Amy asked, her eyes wide.

"No" Sheldon declared, "I've never been more sane in my entire life. I know you spent the night with Steven, and I don't care". Pausing he went on, "Well, actually I do care, but I can live with it, I can accept it, but what I can't live with, is not being with you. I'm in love with you Amy, I am".

Amy stood there, stunned, her mind unable to function.

Finally, she looked him in the eyes. "I love you too" she assured him, her eyes tearing up "and I always will, but I can't keep doing this. Every time you turn away from me, it tears me apart. I'm sorry Sheldon, I can't do this any more".

"You don't need to do it any more" he assured her, "because I'll never turn away from you again, I swear it. Please Amy, give me a chance to prove it. I promise, I won't let you down".

She stood there, her mind in total confusion.

For a long time she hesitated, then she decided. Her heart had taken such a battering, over the last few months, she figured once more would make no difference, but she knew it had to end here, one way or the other.

"OK Sheldon" she agreed, "but if you turn away, we're finished, forever. You leave, and never come back".

"I'm not leaving" he assured her, "because I'm not going to fail you, I promise".

Taking him by the hand, she went to pull him toward the bedroom door, but she realized no pulling was required, because he was following of his own free will.

Standing facing one another, Amy undid the cord on her dressing gown, letting it slip from her shoulders.

For a moment, Sheldon was frozen to the spot, his eyes wide, his mouth agape, then he inhaled, his eyes moving, taking in the acres of flesh, visible through the see through, black Baby Doll Nightie.

"God Amy" he gasped, "your beautiful".

"Well don't just stand there" she said, "do something".

"Oh God yes" he panted, then he was moving, crossing the space between them in a single long stride, sweeping her into his arms, his mouth instantly covering hers, his lips moving against hers, then his hand covered her mound, his fingers bending to press against her, his tongue pressing for entry, her mouth instinctively opening to admit him.

Staggering back, they fell onto the bed, mouths still locked together, Sheldon on top, almost knocking the wind out of her.

Feeling his hardness pressing into her, she broke the kiss, begging "Oh God Sheldon, take me now".

"One minute" he gasped, beginning to stand, "I promise I'm not leaving you. Just got to get undressed".

Kicking off his shoes, then shedding his T-Shirt and pants, he tore off his underpants, then, kneeling between her legs again, he leaned over her, inhaling deeply, her natural scent and pheromones invading his senses.

"Yes" Amy begged, reaching up to draw him to her, "now".

Sheldon didn't need asking again. Taking hold of his arousal, he leaned forward, nudging himself against her, pushing into her.

Relaxing her muscles, she felt him slide in, then he stopped, breathing in gasps, trying to become accustomed to the feeling of her heat and wetness.

Wrapping her legs around him, Amy pulled him deeper, rocking herself back and forward against him, her loins twisting in exquisite agony.

Sheldon seemed to remain still for ages, but it was really only a few seconds, then he began thrusting, becoming more rhythmic and forceful by the second, feeling Amy's walls caressing and stroking his length, the heat permeating his flesh, the feeling of his naked skin, touching and sliding against her wetness driving him wild.

On and on he stroked, Amy's legs wrapped around him, pulling him further into her, as she rode his strokes, feeling him plunge deep into her, stretching her walls, the sensation of him caressing them driving her toward her climax.

Teetering on the edge, she felt Sheldon losing his rhythm, then a moment later he pulsed, flooding her with his scalding hot juices, the feeling pushing her over the edge, a low scream rising in her throat, then she called his name, "**SHELDONNNNNNNNN**".

Even as the wave of pulses ran through him, he continued to stroke into her, until, gasping for breath, he collapsed onto her, his head resting on the pillow over her left shoulder.

They lay there for what seemed like hours, their breathing and heart rates refusing to slow, until finally they did.

Lifting himself on his hands, he felt himself slip from her, then he eased himself onto the bed beside her, almost every muscle of his body aching from the exertion.

Turning to look at him, she gave him a huge smile. "I have a confession" she announced, shaking her head "I didn't have sex with Steven".

Sheldon looked confused. "I'm sorry? But I thought?"

"I couldn't do it" she confessed, gently shaking her head again "I kept thinking of you".

"Thank God" he replied, a smile of relief on his face, "but, shouldn't it have hurt? I mean, the first time?"

"It did, a little" she confirmed "but I was pretty wet, and I've used that damn vibrator a good few times, so that might have helped".

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sheldon asked.

"You were under enough pressure as it was" she informed him with a grin, "I figured you didn't need any more".

They lay there for ages, holding one another, their muscles gradually recovering from their exertions.

"Amy" he asked, a gentleness to his voice, "move back into my apartment, please"

keeping her voice as calm and even as she could manage, she answered him, "No, I'm not moving back into you're apartment".

"But Amy" he began, but she cut him off, "Please hear me out. I'm not moving into your apartment because, like my old apartment, it holds too many bad memories. If we're going to live together, it's got to be somewhere untainted by the past. A new start, which means either here, or somewhere completely new".

"I don't want to wait for us to find somewhere new" he confirmed, "so it's here. I'll move in here. Is tomorrow too soon?"

Shaking her head, Amy smiled. "No, tomorrow isn't too soon at all. In fact, once we've been over and told Leonard and Penny, I think you should stay here tonight".

Turning her face to his, he placed a brief kiss on her lips. "I'd love to stay here tonight".

Sitting up, Amy turned her legs over the edge of the bed, opening her bedside cabinet.

Lifting out her vibrator, she momentarily weighed it in her hand, then she set off out of the room.

"Where are you going with that?" he called after her.

"Getting rid of it" she replied, poking her face back around the door, "I know you're not comfortable with this kind of thing".

"On second thoughts" he grinned, "I've changed my mind. I think we could have some fun with it, provided it's used sparingly. I wouldn't want to be replaced by it".

"No chance of that" she assured him, "it doesn't have an eidetic memory, or a 180 plus IQ".

Twisting the base, she dragged the tip along his already partially recovered arousal, and Sheldon almost leapt off the bed.

"Still want to keep it?" she asked, with a grin.

"It might take me a while to get used to it" he replied, his eyes wide, "but yes, I think we should keep it".

Handing it to him, she lay back on the bed. Closing her eyes, she smiled. "This first" she instructed him, "then you, and jump to it. We've got a lot of catching up to do".


	13. Epilogue

.

**The Survival Imperative****.**

**Epilogue.**

With a deep sigh, Amy read the inscription for the third time, since arriving.

**In loving memory of**

**Sheldon Lee Cooper **

**02/26/1980 to 07/08/2051**

**Devoted Husband**

**Loving Father and Grandfather**

**Forever loved - Eternally missed.**

She'd visited his grave, every Sunday since the funeral.

She was grateful for the time they'd had together, and thankful that his passing had been quick and relatively painless. The doctor assured her the coronary was massive, and would've been over in just a few seconds.

It came as a shock, when Penny later let slip, that Sheldon's greatest fear was Amy dying, and she thanked an unspecified deity, that he was spared that.

She was proud of Sheldon's achievements, especially his Nobel Prize, awarded almost 5 years before his passing, which took pride of place on their bookshelf.

She'd always hoped to win one herself, but now, without Sheldon, she no longer cared.

The sun was very bright, and it reminded her of the walk in the park the four of them had taken, shortly after she was attacked in her apartment.

Terrifying as the attack was, without it, it was doubtful she and Sheldon would have ended up married. "_Funny_", she thought, "_how something so wonderful, could result from something so dreadful_".

The last eighteen months had been the most lonely of her life. She'd been on three dates, but couldn't bring herself to feel close to any of the men she'd had dinner with. She'd seen none of them for a second date.

She missed intimacy, but she wasn't the kind of person to have sex, just for the physical act. Maybe some day, she'd find someone she could really love, but she wasn't holding her breath.

For the time being, she lived her life for her twin children, Pierre and Marie, and of course Marie's son, Albert, named, at Sheldon's request, due to him being born on March 14th.

Taking a deep breath, she shook herself from her daydream. Pushing herself up from the bench, she turned to leave, and bumped into an elderly, grey haired gentleman.

"I'm terribly sorry" she apologized.

The gentleman nodded, then continued on for two steps, before stopping and turning back.

For a moment, he studied her, then, in a hesitant voice, he asked "Amy?"

Amy studied him for a few seconds, then there was a flicker of recognition. "Steven?"

"Good lord" he announced, his face lighting up with a smile, "it is you. Amy Farrah Fowler".

Gesturing to Amy to sit, he took the seat next to her. Glancing at the gravestone, he asked "Your husband?"

Amy nodded. Sniffing back a tear, she asked "Did you ever remarry?"

"No" he confirmed, "Helen and I tried again, but it only lasted a few weeks. She remarried a year later".

There was a pause, then Steven asked, "I know it's an odd place to be asking this, but would you care to join me for coffee?"

She though for a moment, "I think I'd like that. Just give me a moment". Taking her video phone from her pocket, she dialed a number and, a few seconds later, a man's face appeared on it.

"There's no need to pick me up from the cemetery Pierre" she assured him, "I'm having a drink with a friend".

Standing, Steven offered her his arm, and Amy linked hers with his, a memory coming back to her, of the evening he picked her up from her apartment, intending that she should stay the night with him.

"_What might my life have been like_", she wondered, "_if I'd stayed that night?_"

They sat drinking their beverages, chatting, then Steven leaned toward her. Lowering his voice, he asked "Amy, would you care to join me for dinner this evening?"

"I'd love to" she confirmed with a smile, "and I promise I won't run out on you this time".


End file.
